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Would you cut them out of your life? I want to....

How far does it go? How loyal should we be to our family? We had a close family member marry an abusive woman. She has separated and alienated him from his family. He has allowed this. He has now become abusive himself. He sends nasty emails to his mother and sister telling them to drop dead, and calling them whores and other choice names. These people have done nothing to them. They live in another state. They only try to get involved with family if they think there is money to get. And I can't handle it anymore. They say they are coming down in May to visit everyone, we don't want to see them. Would it be wrong to write a "Dear John" letter to these people, telling them we will not be involved with them any longer due to their abusive nature? I just think they may be too sick to safely be around my family. Honestly.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Dec. 13, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Yes get rid of them and keep it that way!

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:24 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Ugh... is it possible to just the avoid the reunion alltogether?

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:18 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Yes, you should not be around that mess.

    Answer by hap2bmom at 11:24 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I would most certainly avoid them

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 11:29 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I would definatly cut them out and send that Dear John letter..

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 11:19 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Absolutely avoid. Family can be the most toxic. Sometimes blood being thicker than water is just a pain in the butt.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:20 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • I would be sure to "have other plans" anytime they planned a visit to my house!

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:33 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • Sounds to me like they're way into drugs and spiraling out of control. Drop them like a nuclear bomb and be done with it.

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 11:33 PM on Dec. 13, 2010

  • If they do come, nobody needs drama at a reunion. What does everybody else in your family have to say about it? If nobody wants to see them, then someone needs to tell them that they aren't welcome to come. Or you could relocate your reunion somewhere else that way you can avoid the whole thing. I hope things work out for you.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:00 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • No, I wouldn't cut them out of my life! This is a time for the family to unite and do an "intervention!" If you've got a whole tribe asking two members why they're so abusive, greedy, self serving, and questioning whether they're on drugs, etc., they will either be embarrassed, get angry, curse everyone out and leave, or answer honestly. Some people are better to love from a distance and feed with a long handled spoon. Either way, I'd lead by example and love them until they've better learned how to love themselves. Our job is to plant the seed, no more no less. Best wishes

    Answer by Ewadun at 11:26 PM on Dec. 13, 2010