Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

what can i do to help my partner not get so frustrated with our babys crying?

im not sure how to help my partner not get frustrated so much when our almost 5 month old starts crying.our baby is his first child and my second.so im used to it.but my partner can only take so much of it (really only a min.) before he gets frustrated and annoyed.then crabby from it. he doesnt have patience to try and soothe him. i dont like seeing him get annoyed with my child , he is only a baby and doesnt know any better.i try to help him sooth him but i dont want to jump right into it every time, because i want him to learn how to handle it himself...help

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Some people just don't handle babies well. Perhaps the crying intensifies the feelings of pressure or obligation for many yrs to come. Who knows. I know I would be very reluctant to leave him alone with the child.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:16 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • My DH is a "fix it" kind of guy. He hated it when he couldn't figure out why DS was crying. If your SO is like this also (most men are) you can try making a list of "things to check" or "ideas to sooth". Have him come up some ideas too. That way he has something he can turn to when he feels like he's running out of ideas.
    terpmama

    Answer by terpmama at 4:25 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I know this is a dramatic response but please inform your partner about shaking baby syndrome. Frustration can turn into anger very quickly and you never know. Please don't just assume he would never do anything.
    maybaby22

    Answer by maybaby22 at 5:14 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • im not afraid of leaving him alone with my child.he is a great dad to both of my children.he just dosent like hearing crying.he gets crabby.but in no way have i ever seen or even felt as though he wanted to harm them or anything of that nature.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:23 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • my hubby hated it when our dd cried at first but now he is used to it and doesnt get upset! he would get really upset and feel like a bad dad for not being able to calm the baby! i ended up working with him and showing him wat i do to calm her and then let him try next time she cries! but if he doesnt feel comfortable the baby can sense it! so he needs to relax and then the baby will relax! good luck!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 12:27 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I agree that he shouldn't be left alone with the child. You don't know what will make him snap. I've seen great guys snap under the pressure of babies crying. Some nerves can't take it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • My husband does a little bit too, especially when he was younger, I tried to make sure he delt with those issues, but also I did what was best for our son and decided to take care of his needs. Every parent goes through it once in a while. If you're really concerned I would address it with him.
    Good luck to you!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 1:47 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Remind him that crying is baby's only form of communication right now. His being irritated with baby crying is like you blowing up when your partner says something.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:17 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Give him a list of ways to sooth the baby, ones that you have tried and that have worked and remind him this may seem like a long time time but it really gets better!!!
    allmomma

    Answer by allmomma at 6:02 AM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I agree with everything everyone has said, for the most part. Talk to him about how this is baby's form of communication, meet baby's needs as much as possible so he doesn't have to cry, inform about shaken baby syndrome (don't suggest he would do that, just watch a video about it and say, for instance, "babe I found this on cafemom, it is SO sad" some people really don't know about shaken baby syndrome or know to walk away if their anxiety levels are getting too high, get a video that reminds us to do that), give him a list of things to try to soothe baby, let him practice baby massage, etc. I would also suggest getting him some things to help him deal with stress or anxiety, like calming tapes that give him visualization exercises or aroma therapy or something. What does he say when you talk about it? Does he say in a calm moment that baby shouldn't cry, baby is annoying, etc or does he say I know he is just...
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 6:11 AM on Dec. 15, 2010