Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is something to fix this that I'm not seeing? adult content

each day our children have to be ready for school it's worse. One does nothing to get self ready in any form, unless helped out physically, like dressing etc. ( 9 yr old )
Other stays up late and sets a poor example for the younger. . .provoking and upsetting other child. Both children are alike in the way that less is more. The less they do the more we end up taking.
Please if anyone has had this happen and knows solutions that worked, tell these so perhaps it can be tried a bit.
Nothing seems to change. Schedules are never adhered by the older one. The younger had all they can take putting up to older sibling, ..I'm ready to just say have them homeschooled but knowing sometimes that is even worse.
I tried to get them up earlier (seems logical) and go to bed earlier, (never sticks)
their dad isn't one to set any boundaries. and they end up taking his lazy ways! NOW WHAT DO We do

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:57 AM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • Well you need to talk to Dad and get on the same page about schedules. Then you need to sit the kids down and talk to them. Explain to them what time they will get up and they need to be ready by X time to catch the bus. If not they can walk to school. (i made mine walk a 1/2 a mile one morning down a side road with me following her in my car for her to get the point) Let them know the consquences and STICK TO THEM. If you waver one bit they will continue to do whatever they want.
    Sandyr911

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 8:04 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • You have to set the boundaries and you have to enforce them. If that means spanking their butts, then that's exactly what I would do. Put them to bed and tell them they have to stay there. If they get up, inflict the pain of their own disobedience. Do the same thing in the morning. When it's time to get up, they either get up or they pay the consequences. If they aren't dressed by the designated time, they pay the consequences. If you haven't practiced this before now, you can expect lots of opposition. Children like the feeling of power that they get when they upset parents and disrupt the household. Respect for your authority is key, and there's no better way of teaching that than your making there be painful consequences for every act of disrespect and disobedience. It's not too late to teach them this concept, but you must start now. If you allow them to reach their teens with the current level of tolerance.....
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:06 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • You kids NEED to go to bed on time. Take everthing but their beds out of their room if you have to. Sit there and make sure they go to sleep if you must but it is your job to make sure that they go to bed on time. One thing my mom used to do with my brother is that he only got to watch tv or go on the computer or go outside to play on the weekend if he got off to school each day allright. You may also have to say no tv/computer on weeknights untill they get up allright.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:19 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • spanking a 9-12 yr old NannyB? Get serious. That's just teaching them to be a bully not to go to bed. I'd turn off all computers, tv's and other distractions. You are the mom. Take them to their room and make sure they get in bed. If they get up put them back in. It may take a few times but they will stay in bed. Perseverance and Consistency is important
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I am with anon, spanking a 9 yr old is too much. Take everything out of their rooms except for a bed and dresser with clothes. They have to earn everything back item by item. Spanking doesn't fix things in the longrun, it is a temporary solution. Children need to have things TAUGHT to them, SHOWN to them. They are not mini adults and just know how to act, they have to be shown. Your kids are learning very well from being shown..how to be lazy by their father. You BOTH need to be on the same page or no matter what you do, it won't work. Spanking doesn't teach respect like some parents think, it teaches fear. You do not want your kids to fear you but respect you.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:38 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Two things you might try
    1. no breakfast till ready for school-dressed and supplies together
    or
    2. send them to school in pjs when time to go leave take then to school however they are dressed.
    higherboundmom

    Answer by higherboundmom at 12:40 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN