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2 Bumps

Someone elses breakup...

I girl that I know split with her fiancee recently. Her and I used to be good friends but not so much anymore because she gets mad at me a lot over very minor things that I can't control. We just work together now. As she was telling me about the split, I can see that she really is to blame for a lot of it. He did annoying things but I guess she doesn't realize that her approach to him wasn't approppriate and that is why he wasn't motivated to accomodate her. I also know her well and she can be very passive agressive when she doesn't like what someone else is doing. I know she wants sympathy from me. I could give that. But it seems to me that it would be better for her if I told her the truth of what I see. She might hate me for it or be annoyed but what good does it do her if everyone nods along with her own self destruction? Would you tell her?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I'm going to guess that she won't be able to see what she did wrong, people like that rarely do. Telling her that she's acting inappropriately will likely drive her away, unless you are really close friends (which doesn't sound like the case.) It's your call - but don't expect her to change.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:02 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Stay out of it. You don't care about her anyway so why should you care enough to give her your opinion?
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:21 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Stay away from it, let her figure it out, not your place, like the title of your post reads, someone elses break up...
    older

    Answer by older at 9:08 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • If you're no longer friends with her, I wouldn't bother. She didn't ask you for your opinion, so don't waste your breath.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 9:28 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Stay out of it. She's just looking for someone to take her side and it will come back to bite you in the butt later.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 9:30 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • if you only work with her then just nod and walk away you dont want to cause drama for yourself at work over someone elses peronal issues
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:28 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • The picture you paint of her makes it sound like she wouldn't be very receptive to your criticism.. even if it is constructive? If it were me and I were her, I would really want to know what your insights were to my behavior..I don't think I know how to be a good girlfriend, so any advice would be much appreciated! You'd probably be hard pressed to word it so you didn't hurt my feelings though, lol..I wouldn't want to be you!! But if you went about it the right way, I'd cherish your friendship for the rest of my days.
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 9:40 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I'd stay out of it. Passive Aggressives are normally not objective so she won't take your constructive criticism as such
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:51 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I see that there is merit to staying out of it. But I have watched her for the last few years struggle. We aren't close by her choice but for some reason I care very much for her. I just wish I could help her. She had issies with her whole family, at work she has issues and now she has lost her love. I just wish I could help her see that her negativity erodes her relationships. Maybe I think if she sees that, we will be friends again. I guess.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:28 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would leave it alone, if she cant approach her SO in a good way she probably won't you either. If you do say something dont be surprised if she takes it out on you.
    bellsandheels

    Answer by bellsandheels at 9:59 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

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