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Do you feel like a single mom?

Ok so those of you females who have hubbys in the military, do you feel like your a single mom? whether or not you do, does that make you want to have more children or do you want to have another baby whether or not hes there?

**ok as an edit. my husband missed the entire pregnancy and so far the first 4 months (shes 4 months right now) im living with my aunt, i do not recieve money from my husband im living off of my aunt (who im living with) and my dad who pays for alot of the things my daughter needs. yes we talk on the phone almost daily and yes i do get support but only because he tells me I make the decisions about the money hes recieving (again im not getting any of the money)

 
Liebevoll_mami

Asked by Liebevoll_mami at 9:22 AM on Dec. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (193 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Anon, you're a fool. To think that you can compare your situation to that of a WIDOW? That is absolutely INSANE. You have NO CLUE what it's like to live as a widowed woman raising children and dealing with all of the struggles, the difficulties, the stress, the damage that the death of a parent can bring to a family. That comparison is completely absurd.
    Gaccck

    Answer by Gaccck at 11:55 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I am aghast at the Anon response. Yes, that comparison is stupid beyond belief. There is a pretty significant widows community on this site, one of the founding groups. I hope they let you know exactly what they think of that kind of ignorance.

    I'm ex-military myself, and I can tell you that there isn't a comparison between that situation and being a single parent. Sure, you do more of the day-to-day hands on parent - but single parents do that ALL the time and without any support from a partner.
    snivic

    Answer by snivic at 12:00 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Feel like you're a single mom? Really? So that means that you don't talk to him on the phone, he doesn't send letters, you don't ever spend time together as a family, and oh yeah, his paychecks go somewhere else. Most single moms don't have someone else bringing in a paycheck, you know. They're out WORKING.
    And Anon, yes, you're an idiot. You are blissfully unaware of what it is like to try to live in this world as a widow - and too damn stupid to realize how lucky you are.
    jinxandjoy

    Answer by jinxandjoy at 1:32 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • My husband works very long hours, usually 10 hours or so a day. I have heard other moms, both military and not, make this comparison before and I find it totally absurd.
    yoliplus6

    Answer by yoliplus6 at 11:49 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • WOW. Anon, you feel like a widow? Really? Did you watch him die? Did you make the arrangements? Did you bury or cremate your partner Did you have to sit down with your children and explain that he is dead? Do you have to write "deceased" on the school forms each year? Do you struggle just to keep your family afloat, while raising a traumatized child who lives in fear that the remaining parent will die? Is the only way you can spend time with him is by going to the cemetery and talking to a headstone? Are you truly completely without the love of your life, with no hope of ever hearing his voice again? Are you the sole breadwinner, the sole housekeeper, the sole disciplinarian, the sole groundskeeper, the sole handyman, the sole support for your family? Is all of the responsibility now yours? Are you grieving a painful death? Are you living THIS life?
    ihatetocook

    Answer by ihatetocook at 1:47 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • not military, but travels alot, so sometimes, yes

    what's worse is I get so used to him not being around that when he is at home for any length of time I actually feel like my space is being intruded upon. Thats how often he's gone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I think that every mom feels like a single mom at times. My hubby worked long hours when our children were young, and I certainly felt that way at times. I never thought about not wanting more children because of it though. That was his sacrifice for providing for us. I will never forget when I discovered we were expecting our third, who was not planned at the time. He was working out of town, and I told him on the phone. He had just started his own business, which would mean even longer hours and we were already struggling financially. I was crying, and he told me not to worry, that God had always provided for us, and that He would continue to do so. And he was so very right. And all of our children have been such blessings to us, the third as much as the others.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:40 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • He's not in the Military but he works 6 days a week, 60 hours a week.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 9:27 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Mine works out of town and has for about a year now.
    We go up every other weekend but let me tell you working a FT job, chasing a 14 yr old, putting one house up for sale and trying to buy another one is taking a toll on me. Im so afraid im going to forget to remember to do something important. I keep making lists but I always forget to put something on the list...lol
    Sandyr911

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 9:46 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • my hubby works long hours and 7 days a week! he is a real estate agent so he works all the time!! im thankful that he works so much so that i can b a sahm but i miss him a lot!! he is already at work when we get up for the day and doesnt come home until its carolines bed time!! then he plays with her and reads her a story then puts her to bed! then i get some alone time with my hubby!!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 10:05 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

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