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2 Bumps

How do I let go?

Have been married for 14 years. Have had rough spots before but think this may be end. We separated 2 months ago but have been trying to work things out. How do I tell him that I'm miserable and my whole heart isn't in this marriage anymore?

Answer Question
 
stuckinarut74

Asked by stuckinarut74 at 10:46 AM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Be honest with him
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:51 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • You have 14 years invested in this man and in this marriage. I can't imagine that you would want to "let it go." Every marriage has its problems. Even after almost 46 years, my husband and I still have areas that we are working on. Love has so much more to do with choice than it does with feelings, although I know that the feelings are very important, too. The truth is that our feelings follow our thoughts and our actions, so when we begin to think loving thoughts and do loving things, the feelings do come back. I've been through the cycle numerous times, and of course, I've thought of giving up. But the truth is that I chose my husband for better or for worse, so I determined to make the worse better, and it has worked very well. So, I just encourage you to give your marriage another chance. Think back to the reason why you thought he was the one, and try to recapture those feelings while you work on some new ones.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:54 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Be totally honest, you have nothing to lose if your heart is no longer in it anyway. Tell him what you feel, maybe he is in your boat.

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 10:55 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Be honest.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 10:57 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • idk why you seperated, but, if your problems in your marriage have nothing to do with infedilty, you can work this out.. 14 years is a good long time for a marriage, ecspecially these days. marriage means your a team. but if you feel as tho you cant continue your marriage with this man, then be honest with him. tell him the reasons you feel this way and he might have some insight to offer, he might even be willing to work on those things. its always give and take.
    ChiefJaws

    Answer by ChiefJaws at 11:18 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • try to cummunicate with him over breaskfast... letting know your true feelings n if u can't work it out, then its time to let go, n move on.... follow ur dreams n be happy....
    littledonna321

    Answer by littledonna321 at 1:06 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • honestly...just tell him...the longer you pretend that all is well the worse it gets...I know from experience...I pretended for 10 of my 17 yrs of marriage and it was "all for the kids" when in reality I was afraid to hurt his feelings...well I should have just told him 10 yrs before because he had been seeing someone else for those last 10 yrs and was pretending also "for the children" and avoiding hurting my feelings...
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:40 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Just be honest with him. Talking about whats bothering you will open the door to communication. Maybe try seeking counseling. I know me and DH have our rough patches but we are working through them. Heck we even started to date again :D
    fairygurl91787

    Answer by fairygurl91787 at 1:29 AM on Dec. 15, 2010

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