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How would someone go about this??

I am a divorced parent, my ex and i split when my son was 5 months old. during that time, whenever my ex would have 'visitation' he would drop our son off at his parents. this issue still continues today, my son will be 3 this month. hes never helped with developement, and raising our child. and the potty training is almost impossible. im constantly re-doing steps of progression. My ex has never once acted like he cares about time with his son. he would rather drop him off at this parents and go out to the bars. the only thing he will do is try to start arguements with me whenever he can. i know him well, and it seems that of course, his main priority is money. i try talking to him about our son, and he never wants to listen, he doesnt even give him his medicine when hes sick. and honestly after trying and trying to reason and attempt to raise our child with him, (even tho were divorced were still parents together) he refuses. he just blows everything off. after dealing with anxiety from his behavior towards me, and not helping in any way with our son, ive been thinking of convincing him to just sign his rights over, that way he can go about his life, and my son can have stable progression, and we can go on with ours. how would one approach that? being that i cant even carry on a conversation on with my ex husband..?

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ChiefJaws

Asked by ChiefJaws at 10:47 AM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 4 (43 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Mine didn't help me either but I wouldn't take his parental rights away. Your son may never forgive you for that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would talk to an attorney.
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 10:50 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • If you can't carry a conversation with him take him to court and let the judge continue your conversation. He doesn't seem to care about visits it sounds like his parents want to visit with their grandson. IDK your relationship with his parents, but I'd call them and tell them if they want to see your son to come over and visit him. I'd also let them know that you and your ex will be working out his visitations in court.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 10:51 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Can you talk to his parents? Give them a call before he gets there and discuss his medicine, potty training, whatever issues. Become their friend. You are stuck with them for life.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 10:52 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • yes, talk to an attorney.

    does he pay child support? if he does, once those rights are signed over he will no longer have to. that may be a con for you, but it might be a pro for him. some men are pretty selfish and would rather sign their rights over then spend another time on the kid they helped conceived. the father of my oldest is like this, only difference is he has no custody rights over her, he can visit whenever he wants but he chooses not to. so i fortunately dont have to deal with that headache, and im sorry you do.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:54 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Look you can't make the father be a father, and as long as he is picking the child up and he is not in danger then let it be. He still sees his daddy, and even though he is not parenting him like you would want him too. You can't change it....

    Eventually, your son will realize, his grandparents where always there and why was my dad not... Yes, his dad will have to answer that.
    He is your x, so forget him and focus on your child.... You be the best mom you can be and like I said if the child is not in danger, there is no need for you to sweat it..... Move on.... Enjoy your child..... :) Good luck, I know harder said then done, but your wasting your energy on a man that won't change unless he wants too. Why bother?
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:54 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Get a lawyer to talk with. Bring up about how to get your ex to give up his parental rights.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 10:54 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would talk to an attorney. My son was also watched primarily by his grandparents....who luckily adored him, when my ex had visitation, and as our son got older, he rarely bothered to show up for his visitation. We also couldn't talk about anything. Unfortunately, the court wouldn't take his visitation away. They said that he had a right to decide who spent time with our son during his visitation, and that unless I could prove abuse, he wouldn't lose his visitation. I would document everything about medication etc., keep a notebook, that might help, but you have to be able to prove those things.

    Good Luck.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:56 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • and also, here in florida, according to my ex's words anyway (which are about as meaningful as shit on your shoe) he cant sign his rights over unless the child is being adopted or the bio-father is proven abusive. my hubby plans to adopt my oldest so eventually the bio-father can weasle his way out of being a parent forever. he tried going to the court house and asking to sign over but they refused him because apparently you cant just walk up there and ask to have your rights taken away, even if the mother is on board. this is what he said though.. could be a lie and he was just being lazy and a liar that day.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:57 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • In a lot of states you can't have the bio-dad sign over his rights to a child unless someone else will be adopting him. In signing over his rights, your ex will not have to pay child support either. You need to talk to an attorney to find out what steps you should take and what the implications are.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:06 AM on Dec. 14, 2010

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