My step daughter is 4 and I love her very much. She stays with my husband and I 70% of the time and the time that her mom does have her she gets her right before bedtime and brings her back the next afternoon. My step daughter has some separation issues EVERY time she comes back. Yesterday for hours she told me EVERY five minutes that she missed her mother (who she calls by her first name). I try to calmly say back to her, it's okay to miss your other momma. She bursts into tears half the time. We never make a big deal about it because I feel like that would make it worse. She tells me over and over that she misses her and she gets so upset. I tell her that she will be going back and it's okay to miss people you love. Every once in a while I explain to her that I miss people too, and that she gets to choose to enjoy where she currently is. I also try to explain to her that she is loved and wanted. I know patience is important here but I am loosing mine. Admittedly after the first few hours of the day my responses get less sweet. I want to be a good mom here, I don't know what to do.
Answer by SweetLuci at 1:11 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
I think that "get over" is the wrong way to approach this. She's not going to "get over" it. You're wanting to be helpful and supportive and make it less painful for her to deal with the situation. You're doing a good job. Be consistent, be there for her, reassure her, be a parent (which includes setting rules/limits and enforcing consequences) ... she'll do fine with your support and love. And after offering that support each time, move on to other activities. Dwelling on it, making it an ongoing dramatic painful belabored conversation isn't going to help. Just show her that you'll always be there for her. Good luck.
Answer by Gaccck at 1:15 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
Answer by EverydayMomma at 1:34 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
Answer by tnm786 at 1:05 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
Answer by LindaClement at 1:08 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
Answer by Skepticchick at 1:15 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
Answer by madsmom314 at 1:50 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
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