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Am I over reacting???

My finace is always too "tired" to have sex. I have tried to do everything to turn him on, but he's just not interested. He would rather stay up all hours of the night and play studid "Call of Duty". Anyway, last night we were laying on the couch and at about 11:00pm I asked him to come up to bed with me to "cuddle". He told me no, maybe tomorrow morning. So, I went to bed alone. I woke up at 4:30 am..he was not in bed nor did I hear his game...so I quietly walked to the top of the stairs to hear him doing his own thing to porn....WTF....I was crushed. Should I not be this upset???

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SDA722

Asked by SDA722 at 2:42 PM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,469 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • frustratedthat would really piss me off! No,you're right to be mad

    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:43 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • id be upset! he could have you, but instead turns to porn. you have every reason to be upset. if i were you id talk to him about it.
    youngmami07

    Answer by youngmami07 at 2:44 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would def be upset!! I would want to know why he doesn't want me?!? Did you say something to him?? Maybe try and join in??
    2prettylittle1s

    Answer by 2prettylittle1s at 2:45 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Um I would be PISSED!!
    mkak3

    Answer by mkak3 at 2:45 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I was speachless...my heart was pounding, I couldnt sleep...I am just hurt. Just the fact that I wasn't good enough....
    SDA722

    Comment by SDA722 (original poster) at 2:45 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Something is wrong there that he would rather use porn, than the real live woman who is willing and wants him. I'm so sorry
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:45 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • So, when he tells me I am over reacting...what should I say?
    SDA722

    Comment by SDA722 (original poster) at 2:47 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I have tried to "spice things up"...by putting on something cute under a robe to surprise him...when I called him upstairs, he looked at me and said "thats what you called me up here for"....I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and cried. I felt like such an idiot...
    SDA722

    Comment by SDA722 (original poster) at 2:49 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would hit him in the head with a hot iron skillet
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:54 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • You are definitely not over reacting.

    I think he is suffering from a video game addiction.If he is playing online and all hours, he is all wrapped up in a fantasy, and possibly fantasies with other women or other characters that have become real in his mind. This is a real thing that happens.. You won't be able to change his mind, until he is ready to make a change in his life. I would bet that other places in his life are suffering too. The fact that he turns down the real relationship for the fantasy world is what leads me to think this is the case, it is a big red flag. Honestly he doesn't mean to hurt you, but he is lost and CONFUSED.

    The good news, is that things can turn around and return to normal if he stops. You need to get him off the game for 30 days straight. If he is this wrapped up, then it might require a good counselor. Like any addiction, he will deny it and it is going to be a little rough. Good luck!
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:56 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

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