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My husband and i had a talk and he said something to me of me lacking and thats communicating with him, which i know i dont do alot....

, and i know thats the key to any relationship, but my problems is im not talkative, and i try hard to think of things to say to him but its not working, can somebody anybody help me on topics i can talk about on a everyday base, i know cant nobody help me through this all the way but can you help me on how to start and keep it moving being that im a quiet person can i get some feed back please before my marriage is thrown away over this?

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SHAKESUMTIN

Asked by SHAKESUMTIN at 10:14 AM on Jul. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Ask him about his day...tell him about yours. Make some plans for the future. Discuss future vacation plans...where you'd like to visit...where he'd like to visit. Do you have any goals? Does he? Where would you like to be in 5 years...10? It's easier for my husband and I to talk once the kids have gone to bed.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 10:30 AM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Communicating with your partner isn't necessarily about making idle conversation or comming up with interesting topics to discuss. You talk about your day, your feelings, your dreams, your fears, etc. The conversations are sometimes personal and intimate. Sometimes it's just venting. Either way you're sharing about something.

    My husband is a lot like you. He's just not very talkative. I think I'm one of the few people he's ever opened up to. Sometimes we just talk about what we did that day or would like to do on the weekend. Sometimes we talk about something interesting one of us saw on the internet. Sometimes it's about things that interest us. What we would like to do with our lives.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 11:02 AM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • My SO is the worst when it comes to communicating. It drives me nuts! I have had to read body language and make assumptions (like if he shows up I assume he still likes me and wants to be with me!). It would be nice if he would open up and share his thoughts and feelings with me but I doubt if it happens. I have to love him for who he is. Asking him to change just seems wrong. I'm not saying that you shouldn't try to compromise with your husband's wish but your smile should convey to him that you love him and that should be worth more than words. I'd remind him that you won his heart just like you are and would hope that the essence of who you are would be enough for him without forcing you to do something you don't feel comfortable doing.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:04 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Hmm. First, count your lucky stars that your hubby wants you to talk more! Think of questions that require than a yes or know answer like, "How was your day"' "What do you think about the presidential candidates", "How would you like to spend the weekend". Think about how you would answer those questions. When he is finished, add your two cents." When, he says something you agree with, you can say so and add your two cents then." Practice in your head or outloud answering questions you ask yourself or listen to talk radio and participate. If the speaker says, "Mr. Littleput is selfish and stupid.", Talk back and say, "Actually, I think Mr. Littleput is generous and brilliant." You get the point? PM me if you want to practice chatting!
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 5:08 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • Well you might be drained, from taking care of the kids all day. And so you just want to veg out (not talk). Make an effort (this is HARD for me too) to smile when your hubby comes home, and listen to him for a while.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 8:28 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

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