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I need ADVICE Moms! My 15 yr old daughter who's already grounded for bringing 3 C's home on her report card, got caught on the subway train with her "boyfriend". Of course they were going to his house. Mind you, she was supposed to be in South Philly at her after school job. She called me, lied to me with NO problem! Said she was going in to work and would call me when she got off. When in actuality, she was on the other side of the f-ing city sneaking around with a boy! I'm ready to show her some tough love a kick her out (she had two grandmothers within walking distance). Not for good, but long enough to show her that life is NOT a game and I am NOT a joke! My mother and ant think I should just kick her ass real good. I don't want to hurt her and I am PISSED right now. WHAT SHOULD I DO?


Asked by Dmommy4 at 5:21 PM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 9 (315 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Remeber what you were like at that age and talk to her from there. I know I did my share of sneaking around at that age. I did wish however that my mom communicated with me straight talk at that age. Show her what's out there awaiting her bad decisions. Talk candidly about sex and stds. Discuss the dangers of not being where she is supposed to be. There are real vile people in our world and she needs to know that they exsist. Always come from a place of love, so if you are too angry right now, wait but don't wait too long.

    Answer by animae at 5:29 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I don't think kicking her out is a good idea. My mom took me to a prison and let the gaurds give me a tour of the place. that scared the holy spirit into my behind! I never acted up again!

    Answer by usdragonflies at 5:29 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I don't think what she did warrants being kicked out even for a little while.
    Don't strike a teenaged child.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:26 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I DEF dont think you need to kick her out but she needs some sort of discipline for sure.
    She might need to quit her job to take care of her grades, and be grounded for quite some time.

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 5:34 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • You can't kick a minor child out. You could make other arrangements for her to live with a family member, but your problem doesn't appear to be all that serious. Cs are not good grades but not terrible. She isn't failing. I would be more concerned with the lying and the boyfriend. Is she having sex? Is she using protection? Those are the biggies I would be concerned about. You can't hit her. It's not the solution. If she isn't drinking or using drugs, that is a plus. I would recommend taking her to a counselor to work on these issues. Good luck.

    Answer by twinkletoes0408 at 6:03 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • She's testing her boundaries. She's getting C's...time to cut her cell phone off (if she NEEDS a cell phone then get her one of those phones where you can only program a couple of numbers in to & have no texting), limit her computer time to ONLY for school assignments (parental block FB, MySpace, Twitter, etc.) & limit her time out. If she's lying about going to work....time for her to quit her after school job until she can be trusted again and of course, with no job she'll have less extras because she won't have a job. Limit her freedoms until she earns back your trust. You don't have to kick her out, that's only going to teach her that when things get tough you quit doing what needs done (because you quit parenting). Teach her that when things get tough YOU get tougher and crack down and won't tolerate nonsense.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • MY daughter was the same way. then i found a program that helped me so much. F I N S (families in need of services). we had to go up infront of a judge and he put her on probation and she almost had to wear a ankle monitor. we had to go to family counseling. this went on for a year. the best year of my life. if she did not behave i had the choice of calling and having her taken in. she did not want that. check with your local police department. with this they dont have a record but i gave e some help. it stopped a problem before it got worse. our counselor was great. he told me if i was wrong or if she was wrong. he did not take her side.

    Answer by large2go at 2:40 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I would not kick her out, she is a minor and that can get you into issues. I like what usdragonflies said her mom did-taking her to a prison and have the guards give her a tour of the place. My cousin (16) kept disappearing for days at a time, his parents finally called the police and he was arrested (i think it must have been more than for being a runaway-but I didn't ask) and spent days in the jail. Don't know if it straightened him up or not, but I know his dad said he did not like being there!

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 6:12 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I think maybe you should remember your teen years, go back and think really hard if you ever do anything of the sort, this is very typical teen behavior, not right but it definitely does not deserve being kicked out.

    Answer by older at 8:35 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Kicking out your minor child can be considered neglect!!! Maybe think about how it was to be a teenager. Getting C's is not the end of the world and not something I would ground for, especially if that is she is capable of doing. She is being a normal teenager. Learn to pick your battles and learn to communicate with her. She is old enough to be reasoned with. Talk WITH her about your concerns and she definatley doesn't need her butt kicked. I would have her quit her job until her grades come up, her job should be school not working. I would talk to her about sex, her bf respecting her, etc. NO yelling, NO assuming. Be open and honest so that she comes to you when she has an issue, not go to someone else.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:06 PM on Dec. 14, 2010