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2 Bumps

What would you do?

I'll try to make this short. DH has an INCREDIBLE love of Christmas, and after having much trouble conceiving, we never thought the Christmas would come where we can share it with our daughter. She is 2 1/2 now and this is her first year where she "really" knows what's going on. We are SO excited. However, we moved into a fairly large home and we are having Christmas Eve for his family this year. We also have moved about an hour or more away from most of them. His cousin & her boyfriend (rip-roaring party biker types) have invited themselves to stay the night, which is OK the other 364 days out of the year, says DH, but he just wants to wake up Christmas morning and not have hungover people scratching their butts walking past us going "Man I really tied one on last night... Where's the coffee?" when we're trying to share in the wonderment of Santa with our daughter for the first time, the moment we've been waiting for, as long as 14 years.

DH told his family poliltely that we don't expect any overnighters, but now his cousins said they're not coming to Christmas at ALL, and he's kind of in the doghouse with the rest of his family. I'm not sure which way to lean... I see both sides. I felt it was rude for DH to tell anyone they can't stay, but at the same time, we want to be ALONE Christmas morning. :(

Answer Question
 
MamaLisa1976

Asked by MamaLisa1976 at 9:29 PM on Dec. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,073 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I'm with DH. Let them not come. This is special for your family. They'll get over it.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 9:33 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • You can't have it both ways. You cant not want them to stay the night but find it rude he told them they couldnt. I think your DH did the right thing and his family is over reacting
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:34 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I don't think it was rude at all, especially if you let people know in advance that you didn't want overnight guests. No one should just invite themselves to stay at your house. THAT is rude. And if they have a problem with it, you might as well tell them what you told us. You want Christmas with your daughter to be memorable in a good way, not for the party animals staying over. The rest of his family should stay out of it. It has nothing to do with them, does it? I think you should be glad your husband has no problem standing up for you and your daughter. Most men cower to their families.
    CarriePM

    Answer by CarriePM at 9:35 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • They shouldn't come. Just have a beautiful Christmas with your family. You 3. No more. Enough said!
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 9:36 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I totally understand family time and there is nothing wrong with wanting Christmas morning for you guys. It would be different if it was a caring grandparent that wanted to experience it with you, not just someone wanting to sleep off a hangover.
    AntoinetteF

    Answer by AntoinetteF at 9:37 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Let them come, but they don't have to stay the night! That's what a hotel is for! They should respect the fact that you want to spend that special day with your dd
    BellasMom185

    Answer by BellasMom185 at 9:39 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Well the only reason I feel bad for THEIR side, is they actually live about 2 hrs away. BUT, then again, her mom lives in a little apartment about 30 min from us and offered for them to stay on her floor. But I feel guilty for that because we do have an extra room in the basement with a bed. :\
    MamaLisa1976

    Comment by MamaLisa1976 (original poster) at 9:41 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • so why can't they stay hotel and still have place of their own if you tell them how you what spend xmas morning i think your family will understand they are not mind readers so talk to them
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 9:44 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Well we live kind of in the sticks & there's not really any hotels very close... I guess it wouldn't be any further than her mom's house though. They're worried about drinking & driving & I can understand that... but at the same time, BE RESPONSIBLE. Why does Christmas mean you have to get plastered?? Not saying they WILL but their plans certainly indicate that's their intent. :( I don't want my daughter to see that anyway.
    MamaLisa1976

    Comment by MamaLisa1976 (original poster) at 9:50 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Nope, don't feel bad for them. You said yourself they invited themselves to your home, to spend the night, on Christmas Eve. That's just not ok, even though it's family. You can't just do that, not unless it's an open invitation. Good for your hubby for saying no! Stand behind him on this one. And, you guys have been so excited and waiting for this, don't let his family being upset and acting like spoiled brats ruin it. Have your special time with your family. Do it the way YOU GUYS want to do it. Either they will choose to respect you guys, or they won't. But your hubby and your kiddo are your family. The rest are extended family. They can be mad all they want. Do what's best for your family.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 9:54 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

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