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3 Bumps

Is it fair for us (a white family) to adopt an African American child?

We live in a small town in Utah and it's not very diverse. My husband is Caucasian and I am about 1/4 Hispanic... We are planning to adopt through foster care and there are so many older children and sibling groups that I have fallen in love with from online profiles. Would it be awful to bring black children into a small town with only a handful of other kids that look like them? DH wants to limit our search to exclude them just because of this. I can justify it either way... What are your opinions?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Dec. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Coming from an African American....Love knows no color. The real question is: are you and your husband willing to love the child unconditionally regardless of others opinions. Children need stability. The foster care system can make children feel very vulnerable so make sure youre willing to fight for the right that child has to be loved regardless of ethnicity. This world can be very cruel. Your home will be his/her's safe haven. Good luck :-)
    Kaye924

    Answer by Kaye924 at 10:03 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • Go with husband's idea because if you and him are not on the same page it's just going to start trouble and the children don't need that
    1LovelyAngel

    Answer by 1LovelyAngel at 9:49 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I honestly dont see what color has to do with it. The children need a home regardless of color.
    Sandyr911

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 9:49 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I grew up in a very small town and there were a few African Americans. I don't know how they felt about it, but they were very well liked plus the HS basketball team really needed them:) I don't think it's a big deal. Just make sure you allow them to keep their culture.
    Aquarius80

    Answer by Aquarius80 at 9:50 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I think you shouldn't exclude adopting other races because there are only a few in your town. I could certainly foresee that child inquiring why they didn't see many people like them though, whether that would be a problem, it's unsure.
    I can understand hubby's reasoning, but that really is unfair to the children up for adoption. I know it's your hubby's mindset, but think about it; would you want to be passed up for adoption time after time because no one wanted to bring them into an area with not many people like them? It should be based on the inside, not the outside. I DEFINITELY commend you both for adopting a child though!
    I don't think it would be awful though at all. I guess it would depend on your community...Have there been problems with racism? Do kids of other races get teased? If so, maybe it might not be fair.....but regardless you would be taking in a child who would just be glad to have parents and a home.
    JaimieLynn8

    Answer by JaimieLynn8 at 9:54 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would do what you feel is in your heart. Race or being the minority shouldn't have anything to do with it. It should have to be with what you and your husband agree with it and what you both feel is the right decision between the two of you. If you feel that adopting a child of a race that would be the minority in your town may have problems down the road, I wouldn't exclude that from my decisions, but yet think of ways you could get through that bump in the road as a family. Do what you and your family feel is in your heart to do!!
    shoot4thestars

    Answer by shoot4thestars at 10:01 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would adopt a child if I could, regardless of race. If the child and I bonded and I could, I definitely would.

    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 10:18 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I agree with the other ladies, go with your heart. If you love the child and show unconditional love then your husband would follow suit and do the same. It could be he's scared to love a child that's of a different race because he knows what kind of trouble that child could possibly face in a neighbrohood that isn't diverse.
    Love knows no bounds! Do what you think is right.
    momnstepmom

    Answer by momnstepmom at 10:41 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • It feels good to say that race doesn't matter and that love knows no color. But obviously there are people in this world who are judgmental and racist. That is why you are asking this question.

    We have several friends who have adoptive children from other races or other countries. I was talking with my white friend whose daughter is black African (international adoption) about her DD starting cheer leading. The mom is afraid the DD won't make the team bc of the white/ black mixed family.

    It's true. Racial difference can cause strife when real unpredictable people are involved. You need to make a choice as a family if this is Challenge you want to take on. Of course you can love the child. Love isn't the problem. Are you equipped to deal with other people with less generous hearts?
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:57 PM on Dec. 14, 2010

  • I would not exclude them because of race.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 11:33 PM on Dec. 14, 2010