I am new, so this was the 1st place I could find to ask my ? I will do this as short as possible, however give all info. My BF and live together w/ our 1yo D and BF's bio son who is 18. We got along at 1st, then SS had a drinking bindge on night where I had to go get him at 3:00 a.m. (BF had no licsence-alcohol runs in fam) there were "rules" set that SS only followed for 2 wks. He runs ammuck and his dad does nothing, no consequences, no rules. He does NO housework, barely puts his dirty dishes in the dish washer, etc. This kid has never once acknowledged my BD- nor has he been made to- it is now that my BD has NO brother-period and my BF agrees. However, SS continues to kick my D toys, throw her shoes on the floor and the like and is never told to knock it off. My BF works nights leaves at 2 and gets home at 1 a.m. so it's me the parent at home after school. My BF has given SS MY hairdryer bc his broke, my spare bed bc he was in a twin- I have no say what does or does not happen- this kid again suffers no consequences and will say NO when asked/told to do something.
I have tried to not talk to SS unless it is something that pertains to my BD, (she is 1) such as watch her head w/ the fridge please, close the door so she doesn't fall down the stairs, etc.
I try very hard to not acknowlege him at all unless it's a must.
His friends come over when I am not here and write "Hoe" on my Ho Ho Ho sign I made for my BD, they erase my white board, spread crumbs on area rugs and SS refuses to vaccum. I could go on, but hopefully I have made my point.
I know this is definitlely dads issue bc he lets this kid run (never home on wknds nor does Dad know where he is nor does he try to find out) he just comes home Sun night to go to bed. Dad will just clean up after him or clean the porch off after SS friends write in my daughters side walk chalk all over the porch!
I am almost to the walking point- letting the SS win per sey.. I do not want to take my BD from her Dad- I know he loves her so much and would hate to not have her w/ him, but the arguing between BF & SS is very intolerable at times and I know those arguements are not good for my BD.
I hope I have given the best low down I can and someone can give me some guidance. SS graduates in May from HS- told BF if he doesn't and isn't told to leave, I will w/ my BD!! Not sure I can make it through this winter in misery bc of a disrespectful punk kid.
P.S. SS bioMom stalked me and I pressed charges against her- SS was not told about this bc it didn't pertain to him, however BM told him and I am sure this has something to do w/ why he treats me w such outright disrespect. Help- please!!!
Answer by ecodani at 11:06 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
Answer by Adelicious at 11:51 PM on Dec. 14, 2010
Sweetie, disrespect does not happen over night, a lot of parents allow it when they are young and after they reach adulthood, or close they demand it. It is earned and taught, now it will be harder to implement since years have gone by. Just tell her friends how rude they are and how you expect them to act in your house, if they don't, just kick them out. As far as your daughter is concern, if she does not follow rules, take away privileges until she complies and don't ever give up.
Answer by older at 8:33 AM on Dec. 15, 2010
Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:42 AM on Dec. 15, 2010
Answer by JLS2388 at 2:46 PM on Dec. 15, 2010
Answer by stressedoutgran at 3:47 AM on Dec. 21, 2010
Answer by pnwmom at 2:52 AM on Dec. 26, 2010
Answer by Alta2008 at 8:32 PM on Dec. 26, 2010