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Do men come back after they've left you

My husband left the house Aug 21, I never thought he would leave, but he did. We used to argue quite a bit cause he is very selfish. It's been two months and some days since he left, and It hurts. He told me his life was miserable with me, and he regrets ever marrying me, and having a child with me when we were fighting today. We've been fighting back and forth since the seperation over everything, I just could not understand his behavior. Now, we are just at eachothers throats and I know that there is not much I can do to fix it. I really think he just wanted his freedom so he left, can this be a mid life crisis? Do men do this, and later regreat it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Mine left for 3 weeks told me the same things..married too young--not happy--blah,blah he even met a lawyer to file for D and then the next day came home--he said "sitting in the lawyer's office made him see he messed up" so yes, they do come back but--it isn't always easy when they do it takes 100% from both parties to make it work and the trust and security 6 months later is still working its way back ever-so slowly!

    Answer by lyon at 7:59 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I know this is hard but relationships that don't work the first time, don't work the second time. Yes, he may come back but this would most likely delay the ending.

    I personally wouldn't want to be married to or in any kind of relationship with someone who didn't want to be with me. I'd cut my losses and move on.

    Yes, this did happen to me. My frist husband didn't want to be with me, got engaged and called me constantly wanting to "reconcile". It was really hard but I never ever gave in because I knew I was just wasting my time and avoiding the inevidible.

    Answer by pugpin at 8:02 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • My DH and I dated when we were in college. He is 2 years older then I am so when he turned 21 he dumped me. I was heart broken, but I had to pick myself up.

    I started dating someone else and we were living together. Once I found out I was pregnant my SO at the time did not want to keep the baby. I left because I knew I was keeping the baby. My DH and I starting to each other again and he made the decision that he would rather be with me then to lose me again. We have been married for 10 years and although our oldest is not his child he has never had a problem with it.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that maybe you need to give him some space and let him think about things without calling him or talking to him. I am not saying he will come back, it just seems that right now neither of you is going to get anywhere because of all the pain you both feel.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:10 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • It happens in relationships, both men and women do it. In relationships we get angry we learn to resent one another and we walk away. Sometimes we realize it was the biggest mistake of ou r lives, other times we realize it was the best things for us. And sometimes there is so much damage done by the anger that there is no turning back and making amends. YOu can make it work if you get back together but realize it's going to be tough trying to work through past issues and new issues. You're safest bet is to start learning to live your life without him in it. Let go of the fighting and the anger and stop communicating unless necessary.,

    Answer by bubblycute at 8:10 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I guess I would have to answer this question with a question - do you want him back? Yes, sometimes they have a mid-life crisis, then finally wake up and realize they have been a jackass and want to come home. But this is not always the case. If he starts fighting with you, just tell him that you will only speak to him when he is calm and not saying hurtful things, and hang up. If he calls and starts in again, do it again. He will eventually get the hint. Refuse to fight with him.
    Remember, when one door closes, God opens a window. Concentrate on yourself and your children first and foremost. You deserve better.

    Answer by dragonfly7271 at 8:43 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • He may not come back. Honestly, if you two aren't working things out at all, why would he. And why would you want to either. Because you love him? Love is not enough. If all you do is fight and you believe he is the sole problem, it will never work. Ask yourself what are you willing to compromise. Then you can start talking to him about reconciling.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:02 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • My question to you is, why would you want him to come back? If you have children, is that the role model you want? Children need a stable environment with people who love eachother. You don't need to have the fighting and negtive energy in your home. Give yourself time to heal and move on. I wouldn't want someone who just left because he couldn't handle it. Sorry....he sounds like a quitter.

    Answer by redheadmom101 at 9:12 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I think that life is to short to be mad at some one

    Answer by Erica25800 at 8:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Perhaps I know I shouldn't want him back, myabe I tried builing up something that couldn't stand. he is being such an ass, saying that I never cleaned, cooked, or do anything around the house, and maybe I didn't do it all the time, but I did do it. I mean I had a baby which was very active, I worked on call, we shared the house with my mom and was tough, no to mention he loved eating out, he used to suggest it all the time so I didn't think no cooking was a problem. It hurts cause I don't think that I ever got a fair chance at being at having a family, and he is totally saying things like I dont want her back, i just want to get divorced which I'm going to file for tomorrow.

    Answer by natalia486 at 2:04 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

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