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4yr old refuses to do ANYTHING!!

My ds is driving me crazy! He REFUSES to pick up his things, get dressed, take a bath, eat or anything else!! I have no idea what to do about it. Iv asked nicely, iv yelled, iv put him in time out, iv ignored it... Im at the end of my rope. He just yells "i dont wanna do it" and flops around on the floor like a fish... And now my 2yr old is copying what he does. How do i handle this?!?!

Answer Question

Asked by Keaton_Hazel at 11:18 AM on Dec. 15, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 11 (597 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • When he wants something, flop down in the floor and start screaming you don't want to do it.

    Answer by misses_nick at 11:19 AM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • lol im sure that would then become a game to him and my daughter

    Comment by Keaton_Hazel (original poster) at 11:22 AM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • When my son was this age and he yelled and screamed and I would look at him and say I can scream louder. One day I did scream and he stopped and just looked at me. From that moment on he didn't scream again. I am wondering if you need to try something different. If you ask him to get dressed let him pick his clothes. If he refuses tell him you are going to give him 5 minutes and if he is still not dressed he will get in trouble. We used colored marbles and clear jars for my kids. If they did something good they put a marble in the jar, if they were bad then we took one out. After "X" amount of marbles they could get a special treat. I think you need to try and talk with him. Ask him why he is so angry and really listen to what he has to say.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I like the reward system mentioned above.

    When my daughter pulls this, I simply pick her up and place her where I want her. For example, she doesn't want to take a bath and get ready for bed? I start by starting the bath water, and asking what kid of bubbles she wants. If she refuses to pick one, she doesn't get any, and she has to watch me put them away. That usually does it, but if she's still stubborn, when the water is full, I go to her, pick her up, and remove her clothes. If she still won't cooperate, I'll place her in the tub, and sit there, washing her, until she's done. For me, putting her in the tub usually is the end, but if it's not, just keep doing it. Clothe him, and put him in bed, with none of the fun stuff that accompanies it.

    Answer by mrskrisher at 11:33 AM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • iv tryed a dozen different reward systems with him, nothing works. He doesnt care about the treats or suprises. Hes just to busy focusing on other things and doesnt want to stop what hes doing. Am i wrong if i take ALL his toys away because he wont pick them up? Or make him wear just undies (which he hates nit having clothes on) because he fight to get dressed or take a bath?

    Comment by Keaton_Hazel (original poster) at 11:40 AM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • all right here's a hard thing but really it works awesomely. my son isn't 4 but i bet a 4 year old would do it if my 2 almost 3 year old did it. take a big trash bag. if he doesn't listen to you, tell him if he doesn't do it in a count to 3... you will take the toy and he won't get it back intell he listens... if he doesn't do what you say in the 3 .. then take whatever he is playing with put it in the bag and put the bag somewhere he can't get to it. ONLY you. AND don't give him that toy back in till he deserves it. he will start to listen.. if you decide to try this.. tell me how it goes.. i am curious on the age difference :) GOOD LUCK mama

    Answer by Mrs.Ro at 3:11 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • ask him one time and if he refuses then you set him in time out for his age when his time is up you talk to him about why he is there and then you reask him to do the task and you do this until he does what you have asked. This is a VERY LONG process . the child we did this with we actually had to hold her in time out till she realized we were not playing a game.This is what I and my husband did with one of our kids and believe me it took everything we both had to get through but we stuck it out and know she will go to another room when she is getting too up set to talk most the time.

    Answer by Tdaycare6678 at 3:38 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • well, if it was me, i would spank his bottom.

    Answer by MamaSince2005 at 5:32 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

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