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What is the hardest thing you have had to do to save your marriage?

Mine was to meet my husband's "girlfriend" to try to break them up- F'd up I know but slowed the process to prevent more immediate damage. Please post YOUR actual experiences/situations here NOT any "Well I would do ___ in that situation if it were me". Just because you don't REALLY know how you would handle a situation unless you live it!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I actually had to move out with my daughter for almost a year until he could get his sh*% together. It was really hard to let him go, but I knew that I could not stay in the situation. This was before we were technically married. The time apart did us well and we got into couples counseling. One year after I moved back in, we got married and are planning our second child.

    Answer by hgibsonorc at 8:38 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I would have to say the hardest thing I have had to do is stop being selfish.I am not so selfish that it is irritating or anything,but I tend to put myself before everything else.I have gotten ALOT better than I used to be,but I had to work really hard.

    Answer by wifey2006 at 8:34 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • It's a tie between forgiving him, and learning to trust him again. Both were extremely difficult, but also necessary if I wanted to save my marriage.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Well, the hardest thing I had to do to keep our relationship strong is move where he lives ugh, I still hate it here..but I'll deal.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • i totally know what you mean when you say you never really know what you're gonna do until you're actually in the situation. Easier said than done! Well.. with that said, the hardest thing I had to do was leave my whole life that I had before I met him. I hope I did the right thing, been almost a year since we both moved out, I love him. And right now is a very difficult time for me to stick with him.. yet I am. Again, I hope I'm doing the right thing, I just did it because I'm in love. Love is blind.

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 8:39 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I had to give up "me" and lower my standards in order to stay married. This is going to be off the wall but it was truely hard to say no to a guy I met while out with girlfriends at a bar. You see my hubby and I don't share a bed and he's no longer appealing among other things.
    So one night I'm out with some friends dancing and I met a really good looking guy who was alot of fun!! He wanted me to go back to his place after the bar closed. I REALLY WANTED TO!! It took everything I had to say NO to him and I went home instead!! Saying no was hard but I did so to save my marriage just like I have become the person I never wanted to become, in order to stay married.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 8:45 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Forgive my husband for having an affair. It's been 5 years and we're finally back on track. It's taken lots of therapy and a separation, but we're doing it!

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 9:31 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I had to learn to live with the fact that my husband had an affair three years ago with my friend of 30 years. It still eats me a live but in order to save my marriage I had to stop bringing it up and try and deal with it on my own.

    Answer by desperateat48 at 9:59 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Staying and not bailing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • For me, it's been having to deal with my husbands alcoholism and all the problems it's caused us financially. It's not easy and everyday can be a struggle. But he's not mean or abusive in any way and he truly is a good guy who suffers from the disease of alcoholism. Detaching from the disease and not the man is hard sometimes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Nov. 7, 2008