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What are the problems connected with having my child change to a different school (away from his good friends) when moving on to middle school?

Reason for change: finding a slightly better academic school. I am concerned about the loss of his friends.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (4)
  • I think it depends on your child to be honest, some kids adjust well to change like that and I know my oldest son wouldn't have a problem, my younger son on the other hand it would have been more difficult for. If he's a good student and can make friends easily I think he'll be okay, does he play sports where he could get a connection with the other kids? Will he still be able to be in contact with the other friends? If he can remain in contact and see the older friends periodically I think that's always a bonus, but it will be important to make new friends in the new school as well.
    For me personally it wasn't easy adjusting every time we moved and I started a new school. It took me a long time to make friends and by the time I started to feel as though I fit in we moved again. I was very withdrawn. I think the situation probably varies for each individual child.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:45 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I think it depends on the child. My oldest son started a new school when he was in 7th grade. He loved it and made friends, although all the kids were new and didn't have established groups. I think changing schools for middle school, unless it is something your son wants, might not be the best idea. Middle school is a very hard time for kids and they rely on their friends a lot.

    I guess you know your child best. If you think he can handle having to make new friends then I would say yes. If he is a shy kid that has a hard time meeting new people then I might rethink it.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:46 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • If your child has the opportunity to attend a better school then by all means go for it. My daughter's bff will most likely attend a private high school and leave all her friends. Kids adjust. I think you are better off doing it now rather than the start of High school. We moved for a job relocation the summer before my son's freshman year and he had a very difficult time socially in high school. At our school most peer groups are formed in middle school and that is pretty much who they hang out with in high school.

    Answer by jcm62497 at 7:55 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • we too just did this. I agree it depends on the child. so far all mine are doing okay, i have made sure that they got phone numbers and email addressess so they can stay in touch and even though we moved to a new town (45 miles away) their friends come and spend the whole weekend. good luck!!

    Answer by goodemama at 9:41 AM on Dec. 21, 2010

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