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The Whiny Toddler.... A phase, or something that needs to be nipped in the bud?

Ok, DS is 15 months and not verbal yet, but VERY vocal, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I feel like all he does all day long is whine because he can't have what he wants. Lately I've been suffering morning sickness, so I've been taking it easy and actually getting down on the floor with him MORE than usual. At those times he often ignores me, but if I'm up and active, that's when he wants to be picked up and part of what's going on. I usually stop and get down on the floor with him, and then he doesn't care anymore! But there are lots of other opportunities to whine, like if he can't get into something he wants or whatever (I'm sure you are familiar with all the opportunities a toddler has to whine!).

I've heard people suggest sign language, but I usually know exactly what he wants: he just can't have it. Most online info I read is either for an older toddler who's using words, or just says this is a phase they all go through.

I've used time-outs, but he just whines and cries MORE, and he'll go on for over an hour (i've given in because by then he's either hungry or ready for a nap or whatever). So I don't feel like I've ever succeeded in getting him to understand that the point is to be quiet.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • This phase is totally frustrating I agree. I've gotten to the point now where if DS is whining, I just tell him I don't listen to whining. He may throw a tantrum but he's also realized I will respond quickly to what he needs if he shows (he's not very verbal) or asks in a big boy voice. I've also started using stickers to reward his "big boy" requests so he knows that I appreciate what he's doing.

    Answer by toykeymama at 6:23 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • He's whining because he doesn't have the words to ask for what he wants or needs. It's normal.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 12:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • my dd is the same although she is verbal if im doing something she will whine and then if i go to play with her she dont want to know

    Answer by angelbaby1323 at 12:30 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I know! I try to fix dinner and DS grabs onto my legs and whines and whines. Then I squat down to pay attention to him and he's like, "Ok, I don't care about you anymore, my toys have suddenly become more interesting." LOL! If I lay around all day (which I've done a few times with morning sickness), he's so content just occupying himself.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:32 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Hi. May I suggest story time? When you are sitting on the floor or resting, get out A Pretty Girl Was Alpha Bette. Boys love it, too. It will help him develop his speech faster so that you will be through this phase and onto talking words that you both can understand. He will have some special parent-time with you as well as brain development.

    Answer by RocketMom14kids at 4:04 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • sign language is never too "old" or complicated for a baby. you know that deaf parents use sign language with their kids. and the babies/toddlers are able to communicate back. I started using sign language with my baby at 9 months old. she learned all the signs by the time she was 10 months old. it was actually really easy.

    Answer by MamaSince2005 at 4:33 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • THANKS Toykeymama, great answer! Lately I've been really tuning in more to the fact that my son is WAY more in tune than I think, and that he's trying desparately to respond and express himself. So when he gets whiney and pitches a fit, more and more I'm getting down on his level, looking him in the face, and saying, "I know you want___, you don't need to whine, you need to be patient..." or "you can't have that right now." And then if he continues, I go on with what I'm doing. Hopefully that will help develop his language skills and help him not feel so frustrated. In the meantime, still lots of whining!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:43 PM on Dec. 17, 2010