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does your child(ren) lie? is lying "normal"

ive been having issues lately with my 4 year old lying. im sure its because when she does something wrong, she gets in trouble. but thats the way it works, so you learn from your mistakes. but there's some things she doesn't need to lie about, like she still wets the bed almost every night and will blatently lie about it. she'll come out and say "i didn't pee last night" and her clothes are wet. she never gets in trouble for having accidents, we explain to her that having accidents is okay but if she feels she needs to pee she should get up and go to the bathroom. i understand she may sleep right through it too, thats why she doesn't get in trouble for that. she might lie about that because she's embarassed.

anyway, my mom said i NEVER lied as a child, and i believe her because to this day im blatently honest and if i even try to lie i cannot keep a straight face. the most i lied was as a teenager when i skipped school alot and lied about it. but other than that im honest. my mom, though, said she lied a lot as a kid. my daughter's bio-father (not dh) was a chronic liar, he'd make up stupid stories that had no truth to them at all. his sister was the same way. i dont believe lying is "genetic" is it?

i dont know how to make her feel that its ok to tell me the truth, ive already told her a hundred times she can tell me anything. its not like she gets beaten for accidentally breaking something. nobody likes to get in trouble, but she should feel comfortable with telling me and that bothers me that she doesn't. some people tell me this is "normal" behavior, is that true? what in your opinion is the best way to approach this?


Asked by tnm786 at 12:35 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (3)
  • I always told my children that if they lied they would get in more trouble than if they just tell me the truth. I am sure they hav elied from time to time although for the most part they have been honest with us.

    She might be lying about wetting the bed because she doesn't want to wet the bed. Have you tried getting her up in the middle of the night to try and go to the bathroom.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:42 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Yes. She's 3 and I think it's just normal. Young ones dont know the difference between the truth and a lie. They just say things to avoid getting in trouble.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:45 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • yes i have been doing that lately, i make her go before she goes to bed and then i get her up several hours later before i go to bed and it has made a HUGE difference! she's been dry that past couple of nights! :) i still wish she'd feel secure about admitting when she does pee though.. :(

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 12:44 PM on Dec. 15, 2010