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What to do with a suspended six year old who likes to be suspended?

I am just wondering what to do with my son who is six and in kindergarten to let him know that getting suspended is not okay. He has a mood disorder so he has a hard time controlling his body. Yesterday he told a child he was going to choke her and kill her as he was pulling her hair so he got sent home for the day. He likes to be sent home and I do not want him to get in the habit of liking it so much that he keeps acting up to come home. He learns these types of things quickly. He does have an IEP, is on meds, and in counselling. I did not let him go outside, do anything special, or downstairs to play with his friends. I did let him have his tv though... maybe this was a mistake, but if not he would have been acting up all day. I do not hit him so do not even suggest anything like that.


Asked by jlemaycox at 8:53 PM on Nov. 7, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (10)
  • don't make it so fun tv is something that is fun since he is already on meds and in counseling first I would not allow him that T.V or toys or friends nothing he would come home and help mommy clean house there are things he is old enough to do like help you dust your furniture and help clean windows and if you have a swifer mop have him help to sweep and mop and fold laundry basically make him work even though its work on your part he is more than likely not gonna find helping mommy clean much fun then after work he would be sent to his room with no toys or anything to entertain him that way he may not see getting to come home that much fun

    Answer by one_white_rose at 8:25 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • make his life suck so bad that being in school would be preferable. set him to work in the yard or scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush.

    Answer by teri4lance at 9:01 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • My husband was the same way when he was a kid. When he was 5, he actually caused severe brain damage to another boy in church by choking him and cutting off his air supply. His parents sent him to a behavioral camp thing kind of like boyscout camp. He got to learn new things and learned ways to manage what he was feeling. They also changed his diet. He went gluten free, red dye free, and minimal sugar. HE is perfectly fine and a nuclear engineer in the Navy. Don't give up hope on your boy. I don't remember what camp he went to but it was in the Cincinnati, OH area.

    Answer by navy-wife at 9:04 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • You are essentially giving him vacation time.He is old enough to have chores to do. He is also old enough to be doing homework and other stuff like that all day. He shouldn't have the television at all. Watching tv is a privilege.

    Answer by nightwillow at 9:09 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Oh if all else fails - call his therapists and get their suggestions.

    Answer by nightwillow at 9:10 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • If not a school, then at the library. There are still things being taught in class every day. He still needs to catch up on that. Library is quiet time. That's not tv. Don't let it become a vacation from learning.

    Whomever you saw that diagnosed and medicated him should be the person to call quickly and describe this new behavior. Does he need a med adjustment? Does he need a change in therapy our in parents' approach? Call and ask.

    good luck

    Answer by LeftBrainy at 10:57 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • I'm not really sure what to do with a kid with a disorder.....I would call his doctor. I know for my kids I would just take away all the fun stuff and give them extra chores to do.

    Answer by lilmomma4 at 11:43 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

  • Make him want to be at school instead of at home with mommy...try making him work or do things that he is not going to enjoy but are not going to hurt him...

    Answer by rebel_mommy88 at 4:33 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Chase was our trouble maker when the twins were that age, he would get in trouble almost everyday and get some form of punishment from the school but he loved it; i have no idea why but i guess he loved the attention people gave him for it. After months of the same thing over and over again, we started something new. He'd be sent home and instead of sending him to his room or time out or whatever he would do extra homwork just ilke in school, clean the rooms that were dirty, pick up toys and etc. We would come up with things that made getting sent home not another day off of school.

    Answer by MOMMAof5_ at 5:22 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Put him to work. My oldest dd kept screwing around before school and missing the bus when she was in kind/1st grade. When she missed the bus she missed school for the day because I had no way to get her to the school. So, besides being grounded from anything fun (toys, tv, games, outside, friends, etc) she was put to work. I handed her some baby wipes and she had to scrub all the walls as high as she could reach. That went on for about an hour. Then she had to clean the bedroom, help with the dishes and then stayed the rest of the school day on her bed with nothing to do and I kept her siblings out of the room so she had no one to talk to or play with.
    She quickly got out of the habit of screwing around and was terrified of missing the bus.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:07 PM on Nov. 8, 2008