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Getting your child to talk to you....

I went through and ugly divorce when my son was only 4/5 years old. I moved out of state to be near my support and my ex got primary custody. He is not a good father and I have been fighting for over a year but Vegas justice system is horrible and it's taking forever. I have asked my son simple questions, he is 8.5 yrs now, such as who watches him when his dad goes out of state to get his other kid and he looks at his dad and says I can't tell you because daddy says not to!!!!!! WTF what is he hiding that I can't get that information from. I am bringing it up at court but my son is flying down Saturday and I would like to get this information from him without baggering.

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christina.1980

Asked by christina.1980 at 12:47 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I think you need to let your son know that you are there for him although I would not pressure him. Let him come to you. I think if you pressure him and aks lots of questions he is going to shut down and you might ruin what little time you have with him. I would just let him know that you love him and you are there for him if he needs you.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:59 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I went through a Very Nasty custody battle with my son when he was 5, i live in NC & he lived in VA with his Dad- i had him every other weekend- After sometime of him being with his Dad his behavior started to change- he seemed really depressed & would make any excuse in the world why he couldn't go back to VA when the weekend was over- He couldn't tell me what was going on so, one day i asked him to draw me some pictures of anything he wanted- He drew a house & a tree in black crayons with him standing by the tree Alone & Black Tears rolling down his face- it was enough for me to know he was very unhappy & felt all alone- i will never get that picture out of my mind but, i had a Emergency Court Hearing & he was back in my custody within 2 weeks- my lawyer was allowed to use his pictures in court- Maybe you should have your son do the same thing! Wishing you lots of luck! My son is now 22:)

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 1:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I have gotten horrible emails from people I don't even know about his living condition and the neglect his father is doing. yet the courts still don't see anything. My son last summer broke his arm, both bones above his wrist with a seperation of the big bone about 4 cm. His dad said he rolled of the couch....he is 8 years old and that's how he broke it. He told the doctor that he can't remember how he broke it. Still CPS and the courts do nothing because he won't say how he broke it. He is having wetting accidents at school and like I said before is 8 and 3rd grade!!! His ex is now goig through the same thing with custody and her baby is only 2 years old. What will it take to get the jude to open his eyes. There is soooo much more that has happened too. UGH
    christina.1980

    Comment by christina.1980 (original poster) at 1:34 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I dont know what to tell you but ill say a prayer you can get him out of that situation and fast.

    Its sad he is having wetting accidents at school. Something def is going wrong there.
    Sandyr911

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 1:43 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I talked to the school about that and she had the nerve to say well he is old enough to know that is embarassing!!!! I said duh so something is NOT right.
    christina.1980

    Comment by christina.1980 (original poster) at 1:46 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • hugs


    I hope you can get this taken care of. Its so sad that you are trying to give him a voice, a nobody is listening to you :(


    I send you all the luck in the world, so you can get that poor boy back!

    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 2:30 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

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