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4 Bumps

What do I have to do to get kissed!?! (vent)

For those who might remember: I'm the one with a husband dealing with a chronic disease, which makes intimacy impossible by now. (No, he wont get better, just worse.) I so don't want to leave or cheat on him, because he didn't ask for being sick and also for our child's sake, but I fell like I am at the end of my rope. I need touch, I need to be kissed and held and - OMG - once in a while even made love to. I don't know what to do anymore. I sort of escape into lots of daydreaming, which causes heavy crashes with real life. It's bad. I feel like I'm losing it here. I like to think there are more important things in life and that I'll be rewarded for my loyalty. Sometimes I do believe it, sometimes it all seems like a big bunch of cr*p I'm telling myself to keep going. And the years go by and by and by. And I am concerned that everything I'm missing out on now, I will try to make up for later in life, when he's not around anymore. You know, really age-inappropriate, midlife crisis, dressing like a mid-twenty, sleeping around, clubbing all night, neglecting my child's needs sort of things. IDK, I just don't know. It's so depressing and at times I want it to end.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I am so very envious of you...can you imagine what a wonderful man you must have had that eventhough you feel overwhelmed, you will not leave or cheat? That is so awesome that you got to experience that kind of joy and love for even just an instant. You are BOTH very, very lucky people. HUGS!!!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:32 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I'm sorry..here's a bump.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 3:04 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I remember you... man you bring tears to my eyee. No one can ever know how you feel til they walk a mile in your shoes.. I really hope and pray that thins gets better for you. I know in the end all that caring for someone who is so ill will pay off, just don't give up or give in. There needs to be more women out there like you who are so patient and soooo unselfish! I wish there was something i could do to help you but i don't think anyone can take away your feelings.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 3:50 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I think you will be rewarded for remaining faithful. It does pay to do the right thing. Hang in there!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:43 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • So sorry but you should be proud of yourself :D
    fairygurl91787

    Answer by fairygurl91787 at 1:35 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Are you getting any counseling? What you write implies that your husband's illness is terminal, and this isn't a road to walk without some kind of help.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:53 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • wow... I'm really sorry for your situation... *hugs*... try counseling... can you atleast cuddle? Hold hands? Maybe you can give him kisses on the cheek, neck? Butterfly kisses, eskimo kisses? If you need sexual needs filled, maybe a toy? I know this in no way can replace what you have lost but I don't really have anyother suggestions... GL and I hope it gets better for you.
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 2:59 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I would talk with his doctor, find out what kind of physical contact he can actually handle. Maybe you to can have a soothing bath together or just lie in bed and cuddle. Just because he can't have sex or kiss doesn't mean you can't have SOME physical affection! (hopefully)
    I agree with the previous poster about finding some counseling and support groups for care givers. There are lots of other people who are dealing with similar things in life and can give you tips and support.
    tobys.mommy

    Answer by tobys.mommy at 2:59 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • This must be so hard, I'm so sorry. You're a strong woman for hanging in there and he's a lucky guy to have a faithful wife. I hope you can find a way to get some of your needs filled. <>
    marine_wife0520

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 3:06 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • so sorry to hear that :( hopefully u will be rewarded soon for your faithfulness and dedication towards your family
    cookie269

    Answer by cookie269 at 3:08 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

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