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2 Bumps

So annoyed w/the "other side" right now!!

I have three children under the age of 5, (one is my SD) I am pregnant.. super pregnant actually.. & have been told to lay and rest as much as possible bc ive been in horrible pain and bla bla.. im a stay at home mom.. my husband is constantly working overtime.. like today for instance.. hes working a 16 hours shift..

we had my SD for the night bc her mom asked if we could keep her so she coudl go out, and we always do, and love too.. she gets to spendlots of time w/ her sisters bc her mom ALWAYS goes out.. but this morning they were supposed to meet for the exchange.. & she wouldnt pick upher phone.. so we ended up having to wait around for her... finally she called and said she couldnt meet til later so we so ok, picked a time.. then she called and said can you just take her to my parents later tonight? and my husband said no sorry have to work.. and she got mad so he said lets just meet now.. and her reason for not doing it now was because she was eating... and then told my husband "just tell your wife to keep her she stays home anyway" I dont just STAY AT HOME.. i am at STAY AT HOME MOTHER because it WORKS for MY HUSBAND AND I.. I also go to school online, and am under 25(so is this girl) so i have a LOT on my plate..

so here I am.. w/ all three kids again.. all night by myself and in tons of pain. I know there is no differnce between my children and my step daughter, who i really feel is truely like my own child.. but im just annoyed that someone that i cannot even stand has so much control over my life and where i am when im there and what i do.

Its like i can never catch a break! & im sick of not being appriciated by people who should pay more attention to their children!!

anyone else feel trapped between their husband and their husbands ex?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • u need to speak up missy. the more you're pushed around... the more people WILL push you around. and ONLY THOSE PEOPLE WILL APPRECIATE YOU WHO LOVE YOU. rest of the world won't. no matter what you do for them
    cookie269

    Answer by cookie269 at 3:21 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • If I were in this situation, I would talk to your husband about going to court to either get custody or at least get a set parenting plan. While it's fabulous to have your step daughter around that much, consistency is important for children (not to mention your sanity). If the biological mother is unavailable to have her for parenting time, you could "officially" have the child more often and have a stable and consistent schedule. Since your husband now has other children to provide for, he could also request a reduction in support as his circumstances have changed.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:26 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Wow, sounds like you need to go back to court to get a new custody/child support agreement in place, one that is more equitable. Or maybe you guys should pursue full custody & that way you not only save on child support costs, but your time will be your own again & the BM can have her visits on a set, court-ordered schedule. This should work well for both parties, since your life wouldn't be so disrupted & BM can party all she likes w/o having to work around your SD. Of course, then BM will lose out on her free money, but maybe the judge will see things your way, especially if you've been keeping notes. Good luck; I wish you all the best.
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 3:58 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I don't know what your age has to do with anything but with my husbands ex we stuck to the custody agreement to the letter. If she wasn't going to pick the kids up on time we left and she had to drive all the way to our home. If she didn't pick the girls up and we had plans we would hire a sitter and she had to pay for it. She made sure to be late or not come to pick them up at all when she found out we had plans. We didn't let her affect our life at all. If I could watch the kids I did but I had a full time job and worked a lot and since she was an at home mom and lived off my income felt she should care for her own kids once in a while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Charge her every time you have to watch her. She'll get the hint.
    sexyfancyface

    Answer by sexyfancyface at 4:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I would start billing her for every time you are left watching your SD when the BM is supposed to have her. No matter if you enjoy having the girl or not, if your hubby is paying that much in child support, the BM should be able to afford a babysitter, no reason why it can't be you. (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 8:40 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I am sorry you feel trapped. Is there not a parenting time agreement between your husband and his ex? Is there a custody agreement?
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:15 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • No. The only agreement is he pays 900 a month.. which i think is crazy.. he now has 3 other children to take care of also who get NOTHING extra because half his paycheck goes to this mother who spends it on Vacations... and we have their child when she is always on vacations.. & that we have my SD when this mother works or goes to school.. (she dropped out of school, and works 2 days a week we know for a fact now, but she claims everyday, so we have my SD just about every day)
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:17 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • i feel like if i say too much, someone will get the wrong idea like i dont want to be around my SD which is not the case, its just everything that comes w/ it and the unstable circumstances... im not sure where to draw the line at.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:26 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • (: If I were you and didn't want to take care of sd because of your own issues that you have currently, I would talk to husband and see what other arrangements can be made, after all she is his daughter. And your married to him, what arrangements did you make with him about his taking care of his daughter while he is working those long hours? In the meantime, have a hot relaxing drink like some non-caffein coffee to calm your nerves.
    brieri

    Answer by brieri at 3:36 PM on Dec. 15, 2010