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5 Bumps

Ex problems (vent)

I am getting married to the man of my dreams, finally. The father of my twins has stated many times that he will not acknowledge the fact that I am in a relationship and claims my DF has no part in my children's lives, even though their dad has not seen them more than once a year for the last 8 years. Instead of simply asking me for visitation, he took me to court to get them for a weekend and had police (all deputies in the county) waiting at my house when he dropped them off. He will never answer the phone, and when he does talk to my boys, he hangs up on them if they tell him they don't want to see him or say anything about how they truly feel. I think its great that my kids are honest, but he's in denial. What the hell is wrong with him? He didn't even want anything to do with them until I got engaged.

Answer Question
 
sweet29mom

Asked by sweet29mom at 3:27 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 18 (5,093 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Very sad. I hope your new husband is a great male figure in their lives. Your ex is going to lose more by not being willing to let go and put aside his selfishness. BTW, congratulations!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 3:36 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I hear you. My ex has diddly squat to do with his kids until it suits him. Like to show a new girlfriend he is a good father for one visit, then dumps them for a year, then their baby is born so he has them for a visit to show off his new baby to them, then dumps them for another 2 1/2 years so far. GRRR! I asked him to relinquish his rights and let their stepdad (who has raised them for the past 7 years) adopt them and his response was "No, I really do like them. I just can't find the time to see them. " WTF? Don't these deadbeats ever think about the kids?
    Caoimhe_Oona

    Answer by Caoimhe_Oona at 4:08 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Maybe he's worried that the guy you are now going to marry could actually play a major role in your kids lives and they won't recognize him anymore.
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 6:45 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Sounds like he is a real jerk. I would have the kids in counseling to deal with their feelings about their father, and hopefully you and your fiance can make a good and stable life for them.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 10:01 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • So sorry about that... I would talk to someone who was familiar with the different laws... if you can prove that he hasn't wanted anything to do with his kids, you might be able to make it so that your kids don't have to see him or hear from him until THEY are ready to hear from him... that way there isn't the constant emotional rollercoaster for them either.
    momof2redhedz

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 9:17 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  •  My boys dad is the same way. He has not seen them in 8 years. They were 2 y/o and 1m/o. He called me a few months ago and told me that he has to go to you rockCourt for CS. Then he texts me a few days after that and ask if when he gets his own place, can he get them for the weekend. I told them and they said no he is a stranger. I told him what they said. I HAVE NOT HEARD FOR HIM SINCE! I say that they are all alike and not to let him steal your joy! "THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL."

    LADYA1983

    Answer by LADYA1983 at 1:32 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

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