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2 Bumps

So do i deserve to be "told off" like this...

2 years ago when my sister in law had a baby .. I was there helping her almost everyday, because she couldnt handle taking care of a baby by herself... I would watch the baby so she could nap and shower and I would even clean the house.... and all of that was fine because I love her and my nephew and I liked helping her out and getting some time with the new baby...

now I have a 4 year old and I have 2 month old twins...

yesterday I had to get a colposcopy done because they found cervical cancer cells ... so I asked her if she could come over and sit with the babies for about 45 mintues so I could shower and get ready ( I havent shaved since I had them so you can imagine how hairy I was and I knew it would take a while to shave lol ) .....

So she told me " Damnit, you have 3 kids... you need to figure out how to take care of them !'

she said it with alot of attitude and basically hung up the phone with me

this is the only time I have asked her to watch them except once over the summer I had her watch my daughter while I went to an appt. I am with my kids 24/7 and never have anyone else watch them either unless I really have something to do ....so I dont know why she acted like that but it really pisses me off !

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (27)
  • no
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • ok you are going through possibly having cervical cancer - its time for others to support you but sadly sometimes family / in laws included let us down the most.
    BMorris99

    Answer by BMorris99 at 5:27 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • absolutly not! I would have called her back to remind her who was there helping her out with ONE child!!
    AFMF920

    Answer by AFMF920 at 5:30 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I would remind her how you helped her, make her feel guilty
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:30 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I agree that was messed up on her part. She needs a little reminding how much you were there for her. Maybe she was having a bad day and snapped at you by default? I hope things smooth over soon, and I hope your results are benign! Good luck!!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 5:34 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • What an ungrateful little YOU KNOW WHAT! No you absolutely didn't deserve that at all. Never again would I offer help to her or say yes if she asked. Just tell her you are simply too busy with your three kids to help HER take care of her one kid.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 5:37 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • What Ctink said..I would do exactly that if I was in your shoes. You don't deserve that one bit!
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 5:40 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. Wow! As much as she needs to be reminded that you helped her out so much, I wouldn't do it in a critical manner, just tell her that you're a little bit hurt and you don't understand why she reacted the way she did, tell her you understand if she was having a bad day, et cetera, and tell her that you understand she's got a busy life. Maybe it just was that and she didn't realize how she came off. In the end, you have to just be okay with the fact that you helped her because she needed it, and because you're a good, kind person - not because you thought she would reciprocate in the future, or that you expected her to. In the meantime, I would just make a mental note to drop her for the list for future help and try not to let the anger fester.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 5:47 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I know some family is like that. My one son and myself are caregivers and listeners and fixers. My other son is a military officer and is usually unfeeling and has no empathy. He is very good at his career. But is not a caring, giving relative. He expects everything to be perfect and his way. Oh well, it isn't.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:15 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • maybe she is extremely scared that you might have cancer. it was not a right thing to say to you but sometimes family get scared and just shut down. i would say it hurt you and don;t understand and that you are going through some tough times and really need support. i am so sorry and i hope the best for you and your family.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 8:02 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

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