Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What if you celebrated christmas and your childrens father didnt should the father celebrate it for the sake of the kids

Should a mother talk to the father about why he does not celebrate christmas and how does this effect the kids or could it be a religion issuse

Answer Question
 
tinamarie1972

Asked by tinamarie1972 at 6:04 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,197 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I never celebrated it before we had kids. The father should just do it.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 6:06 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • It would depend on the reasons why he didn't celebrate. If its from being a Scrooge, then I'd say something. Otherwise the mother knew going into the relationship his feelings on the holiday. A person shouldn't be forced into celebrating something they feel no connection to be it personal or religious.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 6:06 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • It could be religious...I wouldnt bring it up.....just have fun with the kids =)
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 6:10 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • There's no "should" here. That's a family decision, one that the parents would have to sit down and discuss. There is no right and no wrong.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 6:11 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • My family are Jehovah witnesses and they of course do not celebrate (mom stepdad and lil sis)...I was raised like that not celeebrating anything... my real father would and since I'm not a witness he would pick me up n I would spend my holidays with them...but my mom n sis would make me feel bad about doing it...if u force him and its religous he may feel guilty and not enjoy himself at all
    canibalkittykat

    Answer by canibalkittykat at 6:15 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • I don't celebrate Christmas. My DH does. Usually he takes the kids to his families house and they celebrate together. When they are home, I "participate" but I do not Celebrate. And we do similar for Yule, because I celebrate Yule and my DH doesn't. He doesn't celebrate my holiday, but he certianly doesn't not eat dinner that day either... When you have parents of different beliefs you both need to do what is right for you AND your family. I don't think anyone should ever have to celebrate a holiday (especially a religious holiday) which they don't agree with, but I also don't feel they should interfere with the celebration of the rest of the family either.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:21 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Should he celebrate for the sake of the children? This is something that the two of you should discuss. Like aliceinalgonac said, there is no right or wrong here - this is a decision that the two of you need to make together, to decide what's right for your family.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 6:29 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • A respectful conversation, where the beliefs of both parties are listened to and heard? Yes. A conversation where one attempts to sway the beliefs of the other? No.
    And yes, you need to come to a consensus as to how your family (not the families you came from) will handle this season. Most likely, a compromise is in order.
    snivic

    Answer by snivic at 6:32 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • My husband and I have come to understandings about how WE will celebrate holidays together. It can't just be one version or the other...because we form a NEW family together. If the father and mother are NOT married or sharing a home with the children all together, then there should be an understanding still, so that any conversations with the children are informed and respecting the other parent's traditions and beliefs.
    boomamma

    Answer by boomamma at 7:22 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • My husband grew up between two families who were different - more along the lines of politically liberal and conservative: they both celebrated the traditional semi-religious American holidays.

    You know what he learned from that experience? ... from seeing his father & step-mother living by different beliefs than his mother and step-father?

    That NOTHING is true ... that all values are just inside people's imaginations and there is no reason to exercise any judgment or values of any sort. It was pretty bad. His grandmother helped him get to a spiritual faith which he took up at 17. But to this day he lacks REAL integrity.

    I cannot imagine what it would do to a child to see parents in the SAME home not supporting the other's beliefs.

    What the father does is VERY important. If he refuses to participate, then he is - in fact, by his deed - repudiating your efforts to provide nourishment to your children's souls.
    waldorfmom

    Answer by waldorfmom at 7:38 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN