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Don't know what to say to her...

My BF for years asked me what it was like to have a mom that was young. My only negative response was I had to grow up with her and next year I'll be 20, my mom 35, and the gap in age closes as we get older. So it's different for sure.

So then I just let her talk and she brought up how her dad just turned 65, and he's in bad shape with a bunch of surgeries and such and how she can't get it out of her head that he is going to die soon. She won't even move out of her parents house because her fear of him passing.

what to do? say?

 
DomoniqueWS

Asked by DomoniqueWS at 10:13 PM on Dec. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Just be there for her
    fairygurl91787

    Answer by fairygurl91787 at 1:41 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • there is nothing you can say to make her feel better. Just be there for her to comfort and support!. you sound like a great friend.
    harris4

    Answer by harris4 at 10:17 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • Just tell her that you will be there for her forever.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 10:18 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • My mom is also young...I am 26 and she is 42. Her father passed away last year. I just said I am sorry. Let her make her own choices and just support what she decides.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 10:18 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • just tell her that the age doesn't matter.. my daddy is 45 (i think .. lol he will always be 35 in my mind) and i am 23 so its not too much of a difference... and the one thing i can tell anyone on this earth.. when my daddy gets to his final days... i will not know what to do with myself.. he is and will always be my daddy.. he has smoked for a VEEEEERRRRRRYYYYY long time and i know it will take toll on his body.. it scares me .. butt i spend as much time as i can with him and i try not to think about it.. my best advice is to tell her to enjoy the time with him.. do not dread on the fact that he is ill but make his last days/months/years the best... make him happy not sad because he has to watch her be sad about his illness... tell her to share special moments with him.. its hard especially if she is a daddys girl.. i know when my daddy gets sick.. i will probably get on his nerves because i will be around so much..
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 10:42 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • got caught up with myself. lol he will and always will be my daddy and the one man who is truely perfect in my eyes.. and also dont stress on her not moving out.. she wants to be close to him.. and i dont blame her.. i would and will do the same
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 10:44 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • yes she is deff a daddy's girl, very much so. I never realized how much this has bothered her. For all we know he has 20 more years, the docs havent said he has a time limit yet, she's just freaked over the age.

    My SO's grandpa just turned 70 and he is great, her dad could be as well.

    None the less she was kind of upset when she realized Id have so many years, if nothing sudden happens, with my mom, and it made her look at her situation with her dad a little closer. I didn't know what to say besides "I don't know what to say" which wasn't much help really
    DomoniqueWS

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 11:18 PM on Dec. 15, 2010

  • so her dad isnt sick? she is just freaked by the age?? ok that is just silly to me.... i would tell her to stop being so dramatic.. i dont feel bad for her because no one has a clue when they will leave or when someone else they love will leave this planet.. its all in God's hands.. heck she could go before her dad.. she needs to stop looking at his age.. and no one is promised a certain amount of time with someone.. not to be too hard or blunt for you.. so dont take this to heart but your mom could go before her dad.. sorry but she jsut needs to stop and spend time with her dad
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 12:21 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I think that there isn't much you can say to her. This is just life, everyone has their time and no one lives forever. You can remind her that there isn't much logic in making comparisons, young parent to old parent because there are no guarantees or set expiration dates on us. Sad as it is, anyone of us can go at anytime. And she might consider herself fortunate for having this much time with her parents. You might suggest to her to just enjoy the time she has with her family because that is what will matter in the long run.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 1:02 AM on Dec. 16, 2010