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who comes first? you or your children?

I saw a post by a mom that said the best thing you can do for your child is to put them first and it got me thinking because IMO It is better to put yourself first because like for an example how can you expect your children to be healthy and happy if you are not...not sure i phrased that right but what do you all think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 AM on Dec. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • My daughter always comes first. Any time I spend any kind of money, it's almost always on her. If we're running low on groceries, you can bet she eats before I do. She's just little. I have much more strength and mental ability to withstand hunger and want than she does. Her happiness always comes before mine. Not to say that I don't take care of myself or have me time, I just put her FIRST.

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 3:04 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • There have been NUMEROUS occassions when kids needs were taken care of and dh and I went without. Times when we went hungry,times when we went wearing hand-me-down clothes,times when we bought only gifts for kids at birthdays and Christmas and nothing for ourselves or anyone else. We did this all without complaint and didn't expect anyone to pat us on the back for it. If you don't put your children's needs first then you aren't really a mother or father, you're just someone who couldn't keep their legs crossed.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:09 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • My girls always come first. I make sure they are both feed or eating before i fix our plates. Or if im running low on money i have dipers and wipes before anything else. I go clothing shopping and shoe shopping for them and if anythings leftover then i get stuff for me. And im happy about that, my kids make me happy so inturn they are happy.

    Answer by letlovegrow2524 at 3:13 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • i think it depends. i mean of course my children come first espessially when its just the way it has to be what i mean is, you have money to spend do you spend it on you or your kids, of course i would spend it on my kids but say you have money to spend and something you WANT for yourselfand you NEED diapers. obviously, you get diapers.

    but on the other hand, do you promise your kids you'll bake the cupcakes, host the parties, be the den mother, etc etc etc all in one week, or do you cut down on volunteered events as to not stress yourself out?

    i think that second example is what youre refering to your post, i mean, in my opinion, it can of course, be taking different ways.

    its just what first comes to mind for me.

    and as my boys get older I will always put them first but i will show them a good example of taking care of yourself, because you have to respect and love yourself, i want them to learn that.

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 3:20 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • my kids always come first. There have been times that the only time I ate was at the restaurant when I was working because I couldn't afford to feed all of us, and I've had my toes sticking out of my shoes while my kids had new shoes. I wear rags when they have new clothes. I've pawned all of my jewelry to buy diapers and groceries.

    Answer by sweet29mom at 3:21 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • sweet29mom I LOVE UR ANSWER its completly what i would of said we have to make there lives best and we may come first in .5% of the time but 99.5% they get everything they need to be happy go lucky kids with not a worry in the world :)

    Answer by premiemom18 at 3:26 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • It might look to some people that I am putting myself first... but everything that I am doing is making sure that my son has a good life. I am making sure that I can provide for HIM. I will always put him first. He is at the top of my list of priorities.

    Answer by KitKatCadillac at 3:42 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I agree w/you, technically you need to come first, yes we love our kids & everything we do is for them not us but that is why we need to take care of ourselves, make ourselves stronger cuz if we dnt then we fall apart n who the hell will put our kids 1st?

    Answer by gabby06 at 4:04 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • My child ALWAYS comes first, I always try my hardest to make sure she at least has everything she needs. For example, in the last 7 days I think I've maybe had something to eat 1 or 2 times and honestly it's been that way for a while. I absolutely hate that I don't have the income I once did but right now that just is not possible, so any money coming in always goes straight to her. I'll do what I have to, to make sure she at least has all the daily neccesity's, if that means I go hungry, or I have to pawn all of my personal belongings then that's what I do. I do agree though, that all moms need "ME" time, A happy mommy does make a happy baby!

    Answer by Hope4Teal at 4:14 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • my sons always came first and have had alot of support from me now they are older they give it back when they can.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:26 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

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