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what about sex?

my 13 year old niece and her best friend came to stay the night tonight. Her friend (also 13) confided in me that she recently had sex for the first time, and now she fears that she is pregnant. She is an emotional disaster and i just don't know what to say or do to help her. My kids are still babies, and I wasn't prepared to deal with this for several more years. Any advice would be helpful, but I do not want to betray her trust. How can I help her without ratting her out, or is that my only option?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • OH, thats such a hard one. Its hard when its not your own child, because you dont want to decieve ur neices trust or your siblings. So, if I were you I would get her a home pg test and whatever the results were talk to her threw it, talk to her about safe sex. Bust out those videos on the discovery channel where the baby comes out the whoohoo, so she knows the pain. Those videos of people with AIDs(they have a good one on mtv) to show her, he may look clean but people are now born with aids,and it effects millions. Then mention it to your sibiling that what age would be appropriate to have that talk with there child, and just hope for the best. Good luck, and do whats best in ur heart

    Answer by MommaKee at 1:00 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • That's tough. If you tell her parents then she won't trust you. If you buy her a test you're stepping on some thin ice with her parents if they find out. I would encourage her to go to her parents, and if she is really that afraid then i would buy her a test. I'd rather some parents be mad at me then a little girl going around scared and possibly pregnant with nobody to support her.

    Answer by SamanthaAgain at 12:30 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • along with the rest of what the other ladies have said, if she DOES end up pregnant, maybe you could offer her to talk to her parents for her? That way you can still be trusted by both the adults and the kids, but also make sure that the parents are being informed.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 1:24 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • LOOK your kid is not your BABY that one thing i would say.

    Answer by babylogan123 at 10:33 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • It hard when they aren't yours, but if she was in that much of a panic I would have got the pregnancy test for her, the trip to the store could have been a mini edu on safe sex (in the friend/aunt way as opposed to the parent way) but I would have encouraged talking to mom and dad too.

    Answer by MysticFerret at 4:21 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • first, go and buy her a pregnancy test- then go with your heart on the rest.

    Answer by j-hunt at 5:31 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I have been in this situation and have felt in between the girl and her parents. I talked to her about getting proper advice from a women's health clinic or the school guidance counsellor. I didn't want to betray her trust or have her parents angry at me for over-stepping boundaries. I called the guidance counsellr who spoke to her & sent her to the health nurse for a STD & pregnancy test ( both postitive). She got the help she needed to break the news to her parents, make decisions, and get treatment. IMO, it was the best option for all involved.

    Answer by Kmlatta at 9:12 AM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • sad but i think you should plan a apointment at a planned parenthood and take her and that way she can get tested for both and they can expaine things to her if i had someone in my life like that i probly wouldent of ben pregnet in high school

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Nov. 10, 2008

  • But her a pregnancy test!! Girls need someone they can go to and they can trust. Be honest and upfront with the girl and tell her if the test is positive she has to tell her parents right away and you will be there when she does if she wants. If the test is negative talk to her about talking to her parents about birth control. If she does not feel like she can then tell her to go to Planned Parenthood and get some. Planned Parenthood will see girls with out the parents even having to be informed.

    Answer by Sonic1010 at 12:17 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • OMG. Thirteen??? How does that happen? That makes me so sad. Thirteen yr olds should be playing with barbies. Where did this go wrong? Nevertheless, I agree with most of the ladies. Let her know you know and offer to take her to be tested and if she is, then SHE needs to tell the parentals. Don't do it for her. Let her own up to her responsibilities. Then leave them be and let them work it out.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:48 AM on Nov. 12, 2008