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2 Bumps

Custody/ divorce

My name is Rachael im 22, I left my Husband after being with him 6yrs because he is turning into a drunk! I got a restraining order put on him, and he is only allowed supervised visitations with our son Saturdays 11-1 at mcdonalds and does not show up.. Him and his family are always calling me wanting to see him and have been telling everyone im just not letting them see him, but its there fault they dont show up. We have a court date set for jan 18th i have a lawyer he doesnt. but i have heard that his mom has been saying shes going to take my son from me. i have been the only one taking care of my son since he was born my x has never once changed and diaper ect. when x calls i let him talk to our almost 3yr old and he acts like he doesnt even know what to say to him. Im so scared my x is going to get over nights and that he wont care for my son

so my question is do you ladies think i have a chance to get full custody of my son and maybe keep visitations to a minimum like a couple hrs a week with no overnights or supervised. im really scared im going to lose my son

i have no record of anything, i do my best to care for my son, right now im unemployed but looking everywhere i know i have applications in everywhere, whats stopping me is i have no job history and noone will hire me, but i think its only b/c my x wouldnt let me work

do you think me not working will hurt me, i have my own apartment everything my son needs and have been putting applications in everywhere!!

Thank you for any advice

Answer Question

Asked by cutie_pie200619 at 4:33 AM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (109 Credits)
Answers (27)
  • Not sure. It's all going to come down to what you can prove. If the Mom is saying she's going to fight you for custody, it depends on if the grandparents have rights in your state... Which in many states they actually do. Not willing to keep family bonds open and strong is not favorable in most judges eyes... Regardless of the other parent, you should always try and keep fam bonds tight when it's beneficial to the child.

    For the fact that you don't even have a job right now is going to look negative. So yes, I think it will hurt you. They generally prefer parents have at least 6 months stable work history under their belt.

    Answer by Razelda at 4:36 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • In ohio there are no grandparents rights, and i have offered his mom many of chances to come see my son, my x is not allowed alone with my son and i have a restraining order on him, he lives with his mom so it isnt like i can go to her house!
    I have been trying everything to get a job x wouldnt let me work im so worried about it..

    Comment by cutie_pie200619 (original poster) at 4:41 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Grandparents' visitation rights are statutory.
    There is no statutory right to a visitation order when the family is
    intact. Only children that are illegitimate, or have divorced or
    deceased parents may be the subject of court-ordered visitation. The
    reason is that generally, the right to be free from governmental
    interference in everyday life is a constitutionally protected right.
    Therefore, unless the State has some compelling interest (such as
    protecting a child that is illegitimate, has a deceased parent or is a
    ward of the Court through divorce) it cannot order visitation.

    Answer by Razelda at 4:42 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • According to this (which is from the Ohio Bar website), there aren't grandparents rights in place when the parents are together... When they've divorced, yes they come into play meaning they can get court ordered visitation.

    Answer by Razelda at 4:43 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Ok, I do know this...they can't take your child from you based on you not having work at the moment. Think about how many single parents that are in betwen jobs right now.I have even known of a single mom who lived in a shelter with her child for a short period of time. But be prepared to possibly explain how you care for your son on. He doesn't have a very good case if he hasn't even taken advantage of visitation. Ummm..restraining order,well that can't look good on him either. I wish you and your son the best, though i don't think you will need it. Though I would suggest you go into court showing that it is only your child's best interest at heart....say things such as....i always worked towards him having relationship with his father...or i fear for my childs safety...good person when not drinking but who guarantees he stays sober.....things such as this... this helped me in court.

    Answer by harris4 at 4:44 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • You shouldn't have to take your son to visitation at their house, but maybe meet up at the mall or McDonalds? Maybe even a park?

    Answer by Razelda at 4:44 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Just to clarify, I never said they could take her child because she isn't working... But I did say it will be something the judge takes into consideration and it wont be a positive thing. They're going to wonder how you're making ends meet and how you're surviving financially. Please be ready to show the court these things.

    Answer by Razelda at 4:46 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Also - In Ohio, the law says that grandparents can only seek court-ordered
    visitation if the child?s parents are unmarried, or if the child?s
    parents have filed for divorce or dissolution or legal separation, or
    if one of the child?s parents has died.

    Answer by Razelda at 4:48 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Another example :

    Q.: We don't approve of our daughter's lifestyle and we think we
    should have custody of our grandchildren. How difficult is it to get
    A.: It's fairly difficult. You may file a complaint for custody in
    juvenile court. At the hearing, however, the Court will not give you
    custody even if you can show it may be in the children's best interest
    to be in your custody. You have to prove that both parents are UNFIT
    and, unless there is some clear sign of abuse or neglect, that is
    difficult to prove.

    Answer by Razelda at 4:50 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • my son is my # 1 proriority he means everything and i really am looking out for his best interest he needs the stability that i give him unlike what his father would be giving him(life in a bar) my x's mom works at a bar (Vfw) so they think they can take my son in there all the time

    Comment by cutie_pie200619 (original poster) at 4:51 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

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