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4 Bumps

What do I do here?

no proof... his word against mine... no witnesses

basically in private in his office, door closed, I'm getting my annual appraisal and he says real low, "ya know you got a really nice ass, Zoey, let me have a good look and feel of it and I can see my way to giving you a raise if you're interested. Up to you."

He said it so low that no one heard and there is no way I can prove he said anything. I just professionally said "No thanks" and got up and left feeling very confused. I'll carry a recorder with me from now on is all I can think of.

Other than sicking my DH on him, not sure what to do.


Asked by Zoeyis at 8:14 AM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • show him your nice ass and see what happens? lol j/k

    I'm not sure you could do too much right now without hard evidence. From now on I'd starting keeping some sort of record of it tho and watch my back...or ass anyways lol

    seriously good luck. He sounds like a jerk.

    Answer by Mandz1 at 9:03 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • You file a suit for  sexual harassment, and try to get his statement recorded.


    Answer by older at 8:17 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Yikes, I would try to file a suit too, that is not okay. If it's happening to you he may have done it to someone else too.

    Answer by lovemylilman06 at 8:20 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Tell your husband. Since you have no proof, I think it would be a waste of time to file charges. If there are other women in the office, warn them. Look for another job. Write down and date exactly what happened just in case you ever need to know times and dates. He has done this to other people and he will do it again. His actions will come to light, but it may be a while, so just be prepared.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:23 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Be careful around him for one thing. I would report him.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 8:24 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Since it's your word against his, I don't know what you can really do. If you file a suit, you're not going to win. Not trying to be a jerk, but without proof you really don't have a leg to stand on. I also wouldn't "warn" other people about it. You could end up losing your job for spreading malicious gossip. Let your husband know. Document this incident for yourself. Check the laws of your state and find out if you can record him legally, if you can, get him on record next time.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:12 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I know plenty of people who had no evidence, yet actions were taken when something like this is reported. Report it immediatly with the HR department.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 9:27 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • You report it immediately to HR and you ask if anybody has ever reported anything like this before (bet they have and I bet they found a new job and left). So if you are the second or more you ask what they are going to do about it. And either way you find a new job unless they walk the bastard out on the spot.

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 10:53 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • You can check with other female coworkers and ask if something like this has ever happened to them. You should also file a report with HR ... even if you can't prove it, you have to document it. Documentation, documentation, documentation ... that's what I'm told you need, always. And like LoveMyDog said ... you can find out from HR if anyone else has reported anything like this. And you can not just ignor it or he will keep doing it either to you or others and get away with it. I would definitely not keep quiet.

    Answer by MaryJacobs at 11:07 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • File a complaint with your HR department.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 11:28 AM on Dec. 16, 2010