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5 Bumps

is it wrong for me to be jealous of my friend

her son is only a few months older than mine and he talks so good way better than my son and knows so much more than my son and lots of kids their age and has been potty trained for over a year while my son isn't really interested in it and is so much cuter than my son i hate to admit all this but its true
my son is preemie and behind on a lot and might have autism i can't help but be jealous that her son is so amazing and mine is barely catching on to anything it just really gets to me :(

 
BrandiH.

Asked by BrandiH. at 9:12 AM on Dec. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (549 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • I'm sorry you feel this way. Bumped for you.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 9:50 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I dont think its wrong. My friends daughter is only a month older than my son and she was like super baby! she walked about the same time, but was potty trained a whole year before mine, could recite her abcs and count to 20 almost a year before mine, she is seriously like super genius!
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:13 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I am sorry. That is the way things are. We are not all the same. Take what you get and don't throw a fit. But, do what you can to help your son grow, learn and develop to his full potential.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:15 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Well not to be hard on you but you need to get out there and help him be the best he can be and become the strongest he can be. Comparison to other children is not what he needs now what are you going to do to make him the best he can be?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:14 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Aww..no, it's not "wrong" to feel what you feel, pretty normal if you ask me, and on top of that I'm guessing you feel guilty for feeling that way! You're allowed. (((HUGS)))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Maybe it isn't jealousy your feeling. It could just be that you feel badly for your son for not being more caught up to other children his age. That's what it sounds like to me. All kids develop alot differently at this age, especially preemies. My my friend had twins boys who were born at 25 weeks. They've had several problems over the past few years but now as 3.5 year olds they are starting to catch up.. both physically and mentally. Just hang in there and do the best that you can to help your son learn and develop. It will all turn out great in the end.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 9:21 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • no im the same way with a friend if mine her kid is exactly like that maybe we have the same friend lol
    sylvia-momto2

    Answer by sylvia-momto2 at 1:00 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • First, jealousy is an emotion and you can't be wrong for feeling that way. Understanding why you feel this way is where you should look. My ds (9) is autistic. And I remember that feeling of resentment when my friend's dd was 9 months younger and passing my ds like he was standing still developmentally. That feeling is normal and part of the "grieving" process that comes with a special needs child. Eventually acceptance will come. I found comfort here in an autism group, talking with other parents going through the same thing let's you know you're not alone. Even though we've been dealing with this for 6 years (he was 3 before the doctors dx him). There are times when I see other typical 9 year olds and I feel sad. But it's fleeting, because my ds is so special, and has so many qualities that I love!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 6:00 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I don't think it is wrong to feel a little jealous and wish maybe you had her son instead, but to dwell on it or let it consume you is wrong. You need to focus on your son and helping him develop as much as possible and not dwell on what you don't have. We have several special needs kids in our extended family and I know from those parents how rough it can be sometimes, but you just be thankful for what you do have and make the most of it.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:22 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • The key is to focus on all the ways that YOUR son is amazing! And he is, believe me! I have a daughter with autism, and she is the most fabulous kid I have ever known! Also, look at the flip-side of that coin and think about the other little boy's "advancement" possibly being a negative, in truth. A lot of times parents push and push and push their kids to be brighter and best at everything. This turns into torture for most of those pushed kids. They have no time just to be babies and be kids because they are so pushed to exceed every expectation.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 9:23 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

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