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What is my role as the parent or loved one of a compulsive gambler?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • she's an author on co-dependancy. I also recommend "The Addictive Personality" by Craig Nakken.

    In a nut shell though:
    You have to let the addict do what the addict will do. You can't control their behaviour or slow it down (not in a lasting way) only that person can change if they really want to. Don't enable them (don't lend money or help them get money or help them lie or conceal their behaviour, etc) Try not to obsess over the person because even though you love them very much this is THIER problem. Take care of yourself. Don't revolve your life around keeping the addict from "acting out" (engaging in gambling behaviours).

    Just loving the person in spite of this problem is a wonderful gift. You can love the person AND not be a victim of their addiction, so protect & take car of yourself.

    Good Luck

    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:09 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Supporter but not enabler. I'd contact Gambler's Anon to see what specifics I could find out regarding my role
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:56 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I recommend finding a CODA (Co-Dependants Anonymous) group in your area. Even if you are not co-dependant you can learn about what is a healthy way to respond to an addict/their addiction. This is especially helpful if you tend to be the kind of person that is always trying to fix someone elses problems. I recommend the CODA meetings even if you aren't going to do the twelve steps, because you can still get info & support.

    Does this person see a therapist or counselor (I don't mean a 12 step sponsor)? If so you might want to meet with them to see what kind of support if any you can provide.
    If they don't see a counselor you can always see one yourself to find healthy ways to help.

    If the addict is in rehab (or goes into rehab latter) they may want to have a family meeting where family & close friends can be updated & get info & "prepare" for when the person is discharged.

    I recommend any book by Melanie Beatty
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:00 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I did. You have to pay for every pamphlet on information about recovery. It is so ironic how they want you to pay about finding out about gambling, but almost every other subject of addiction is on the internet. Unless I am not looking at the correct websites. But Gam_anon.org is about fees.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:58 AM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I think you should defenitly try to stop the act.... Dont enable them to keep doing it.. when they run out of money dont give them money if they say well i need the money to get this or that then get them this or that but dont give them the money to do so.......pray for them.. A person can do all thing through Christ the streangthens them.
    lacyjay1987

    Answer by lacyjay1987 at 10:25 AM on Dec. 16, 2010