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What do I do if I suspect my husband of cheating?

I am freaking out. I can't sleep, I found a strange number on our phone bill repeatedly, on nights my husband wasn't coming home last week. I blocked the number and called and got a voicemail greeting for a female. I was devastated. So I surfed around on myspace and found pictures of him at parties when he said he was so exhausted he had to stay at the barracks (my hubby is a Marine). We have alot of other issues but I have stuck by him and his mistakes, I don't know if I can handle this. We have a 9 month old boy who is my heart and soul... I thought I picked a good man to be a father. Where do we go from here?

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babyzionsmama

Asked by babyzionsmama at 6:21 AM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (14)
  • Have you ASKED him if he has cheated? If he admits to it or is caught in the act he CAN be punish by military law. Adultery is a BIG no-no in the military and he can get thrown in the brig, and receive an article 15 or worse for committing adultery.


    I suggest keeping an open line of honest communication with him about it. If he denies it, there is really nothing that you CAN do about it until he is caught. It seems to me all you don't really have any evidence that is TOO incriminating...it's all just circumstantial...except maybe about the parties in the barracks...you could "bust" him on that.

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 6:28 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • P.S....I'm an Army wife...I know what it's like to feel neglected and, as a result, begin to jump to conclusions...especially when you have trust issues to begin with.  Our husband's spend a LOT of work related time away from home...weeks in the field training, CQ duty, staff duty, guard duty, deployments....it takes a strong couple to withstand it all.

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 6:31 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Thanks for your quick reply. I tried asking him once but he denied it. I am aware about the adultery thing in the military, I am not sure how to 'catch' him and just so nervous about the whole thing. He is actually already facing a court martial for something unrelated and we are being evicted from base housing. Its just a terrible situation already and I cant fathom why he would go and do this to make things 10 times worse.
    babyzionsmama

    Answer by babyzionsmama at 6:31 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • pardon my grammar...I haven't slept in a while...lol

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 6:32 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • yes, all that time away... trusting him is so hard I have caught him in so many lies. Sometimes I just let them slide because I Want to believe he will change and be the man I thought I fell in love with and have babies with... this is so hard.
    babyzionsmama

    Answer by babyzionsmama at 6:34 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • oh no worries. i am there with you, i should have fallen asleep hours ago but this is keeping me up.
    babyzionsmama

    Answer by babyzionsmama at 6:35 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Trust me...DON'T get nosey and start LOKKING for ways to pin him...that's only makes matters worse and drives you further apart. IFhe IS cheating, he will make himself known one day without anyone else's help. Have you talked with him about why you feel this way? Maybe there is a very logical explanation for it all and things just seemed to point in the "cheating" direction when it was really just something innocent. Maybe the girl is a wife or GF of one of his buddies and his buddy just uses his wife's or GF's phone. You'll never really know for sure. This is why they say that trust is key in a healthy relationship...a relationship starts to break down when there is a lack of trust.

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 6:38 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • crap...looking*


    lol

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 6:39 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Trust me I have been cheated on and it is not worth snooping. I understand every women in these positions I hate men they are stupid.
    My DH left me and I was 2 month prego with our second child and left me with a 2 year old! For my brothers wife but he came home 7 months later. My dad was in the military and never cheated on my mother and I think it is wrong for military men to cheat on their wives because you stick by there crap day in and day out. If ya'll ver need to talk spnd me a message I am always on here.=)
    Beccah2

    Answer by Beccah2 at 7:20 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Hello. I would say talk to him about it. That sucks that you found the phone # but holding it in is only making you imagine the worse. knowledge is power. no marriage is perfect but if you do talk to him you will know where your marriage stands. maybe it's as little as you need to find time to be with each other. having a baby alot of times takes your focus off the marriage. If you find out it's more than that you might want to try marriage counseling. the key here is communication. being in the dark only makes it worse. hope this helps. take care....
    seximexi

    Answer by seximexi at 7:27 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

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