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How do I recover from being cheated on by my husband?

Its not only the cheating, but the lies. SO many, many lies. Lying about where is is and why he doesnt want to spend time at home with me and our 9 month old angel baby boy. We have a baby! Doesn't that mean something tremendously wonderful, we should be in such a joyful part of our lives! I know I havent been nearly as interested in sex since he was born but I expect that to pass, what have I done wrong? Could I have prevented this? I am sick with grief. But I just want to recover and be the best mommy I can and teach my son to be a good honest loving man.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:25 AM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Mine cheate on me while I was prgo with our son and our daughter was 2! With my brothers wife and left me for 7 months while I was prego so he could play house with someone else write me and I can listen and give a much advice as you need. Trust m you are not alone! Good Luck hope to hear from you soon!

    Answer by Beccah2 at 6:57 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • i think the 1st thing you both need to decide is do you still love each other and want to be with ONLY each other. he needs to be honest. i was cheated on because a lack of sex and being emotionaly there for him. i only understood i could have prevented it... but i didnt blame myself b/ he was the one who went and extra mile to hurt our family. so i say is was a 40/60 lol in the process when we decided we want to try one more time

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • he understood i needed alot from him i.e. not going out w/ the guys for a while until i felt secure. he had to tell me everytime they met what they did and how he felt lol i talked to the woman and she told me all they talked about was me so we did church counseling for 2 months. and i learend so much about how i need to fufill him with more than sex. what im saying is if he doesnt want this let it go... my husband was very sorry if a man isnt willing to go to the moon and back for you hes not worth it

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I'd be outie. I'm mean, I'd dump the kid off on HIS doorstep and be on my merry way. Men leave because they CAN. To hell with that, he'll change his tune when it's HIM stuck with the kid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • We all heal differently & at our own pace. IMO the hardest thing to get past is the emotional part. For starters, you should refrain from placing blame. It's not your fault he cheated. However, even he being in the wrong, there's no changing the past. Pointing fingers will only make the situation more hostile & recovery less likely. It’s good to reflect on what you both could do to improve together, but nothing will change what happened. A man is a man & will do what he will! We can't control the actions of others. Only he can give you “why”answers. It might have nothing to do with you! It will take time; take tiny steps. I hope you see the end of the rough road soon. Whatever you decide in the end, you will be fine. Let the dust settle & you'll know what's best for you & start working towards that. Always trust your gut instincts & inner voice!

    Answer by HotMommiesClub at 8:23 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • IT will take a lot of time and patience and the willingness for both of you to be completely honest with each other. And possibly some couseling. I hope things get better for you

    Answer by elananme at 8:55 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • There are a ton of books on recovery from infidelity, cheating, and communication. If you can afford it go to marriage counseling and let a professional guide you. Good luck!

    Answer by hatg at 9:04 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • You can forgive but you can never forget. You can try but it's hard. I say the reason why he is doing all this is because he is scared and because of all the responsibilities that comes with a baby. You just need to talk to him and tell him that you're both in this together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • If he does not want to change his ways..You can not make him..That means if he does not want you any more and is just keeping you around because it's cheaper to stay married to you.. Time to make a decision..Leave him or stay with him..


    Answer by louise2 at 10:43 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • been there! 1st you need to understand ITS NOT YOURE FAULT!!!! you cant make a man be a pig some just need to understand you deserve better onc a lier and cheater always a lier and cheater.if its as bad as you say,I think he has already decided he doesnt love you any more.move on it will make you a stronger women,but it will take time to heal.put youre energy and focus on youre beautiful cjild who needs you more.GOOD LUCK

    Answer by lifeisgood176 at 10:56 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

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