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Torn between wanting a career and being a SAHM...

I can't write my whole situation in this space... but mainly, my problem is:
I want to go back to school and become a medical assistant. I was in nursing school when I met my DH and got preggers, and had to drop out. (LONG story) Anyway, here I am 5 yrs later and I feel bored. I love my kids and husband... we've been through so much together and are finally doing good. But I want to feel like I'm contributing something to the community, not just cleaning and cooking. My DH wants baby #3, and I want a baby too, but I worry that I will feel trapped again.
My question is... How many of you moms did what I'm thinking of? How many of you went back to work after being SAHMs, and are you happy with that choice? Did it fulfill you, or do you wish you had stayed home a little longer?


Asked by brandyj at 1:18 PM on Dec. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 21 (10,228 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Why not come up with some type of compromise? Sit down with your husband and discuss going back to school and what your time frame is for baby #3 and then go from there. If it were me, I would go back to school for medical assisting, and then find a job. If baby #3 comes along consider working part-time.

    Answer by MizLee at 1:37 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Let him be a SAHD while you work. Lotsa of people do it nowadays. There's no rule that the female has to be the one to stay home or give up a career. Let him do it if its feasable or if he makes less money than you would.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 1:25 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I was just on this situation this year. After being home for 8 years I started looking for a job and was suppose to start in August. It was very hard to make the decision to go back to work because I love being home. Unfornuately I was not able to go back because my DD got very sick a week before I was suppose to start work.

    I think there might be a period of time when it is hard because you need to get adjusted to working. Once you get through the adjustment period I think you will be happy, although I'm not totally sure because everyone is different.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:26 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I started working full time again when my oldest was 18 months old. It was not by choice but I did what I had to for us to survive. I have worked full time since then. Then when my youngest was born I only got to stay home for 6 weeks and I wished I could have been home longer. I was torn between quitting and keeping on. I'm glad I came back because I am now the sole support of our family and dad has been at home... but I resent him at times because I don't get to do the mom thing like he does. Its a tough choice and now I'm ranting lol. Good luck.

    Answer by bjojola at 1:26 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I wanted another baby and decided for me it would be better if I myself would be a better human if I had something for myself so maybe you go to school online

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:27 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Or maybe you should go back and finish what you started?

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:28 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I've always worked, but I did a six month stint as a SAHM. I couldn't wait to get back to work.

    Answer by Fawn80 at 1:34 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Thanks, ladies. I think that maybe being a SAHM will be a little easier once I get a car in Feb. My DH and I have always shared a car, and I have to arrange with him to use it if I "need" it. He gives me a hard time about it because he is a manager and may need the car during the day... so I usually end up stuck at home with no way to get to anything and no money to do anything. So those are my main gripes. I think once I have my own transportation, I can arrange things like trips to the library, the park, mommy groups, etc. I also miss making my own money. My DH still sees it as "his" money that he earns, and so he wants to know why I want money before he gives it to me. It drives me CRAZY... but lately his opinions have been better. I don't think I did anything different... I think he's just growing up.. finally. LOL

    Comment by brandyj (original poster) at 1:34 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I tries working after dd was born and couldn't stand to leave her in a daycare..I got pregnant and dropped out of college, which I sometimes regret but my family woul not be what it is today if I stayed in..I know that sounds wired but it's true...if you're wanting baby 3 then I would hold off on going back to school until after the baby is can do so much other than cleaning and cooking..join a playgroup (if your kids are still young and with you during the day), if they're not then get involved with their school..reach out to other sahm's...on the other hand, if going back to school and achieving your career would make you happy then go for it. You don't want to feel trapped and resent your home life for making the choice to stay at home instead of going bck to work. Whatever decision you make it sounds like your family is behind you either way. My dh and I would not want me anywhere else but at home, even though

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 1:35 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • You can do both. Many moms do it everyday. I never gave up my career as a teacher and I am still a wonderful mom and wife. My dh prefers that I work b/c it is less stress for him. It would stress him out if I did not work. He likes the added security of a 2nd paycheck.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 1:36 PM on Dec. 16, 2010