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My ten year old daughter wants nothing to do with me- is this normal?

For about the past 6 months my 10 year old daughter doesnt want me to touch her, or even pay attention to her. If I try to kiss her she actually blocks me!! This is even when we are home alone without any friends around! We havent gotten into any major fights, it came on all of a sudden. Is this normal, or should I look into counseling or something??? It is really making me sad......

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Asked by notsoaveragemom at 7:43 AM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (11)
  • Aw, she's probably just growing into a little preteen :D I started acting like her around the time I was ten or eleven. She might just think that she's getting too old for kisses and hugs and stuff, even if you know she's not too old. I'm 20 and I have a habit of blocking my mom when she wants to give me a kiss. She pouts and tells me that I'll always be her baby no matter how old I get, and I always pretend to gag a little =] We grow up so fast!

    Answer by caitxrawks at 7:58 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Growing up is one of the hardest thing that we have to go thru with children. Instead of hugging her when you know she doesn't want it, just pat her back, put your arm around her, etc. My daughters did that, and ohhhh I hated it, but its a part of growing up and older. They think that they are too old for that. Anyway,as the years went by, things changed, now, I get em all the time.My girls will still hold my hand in a store and they are 19 & 23. If you just say you love her, it will be good enough for her and one day she will suprise you and just come right up and hug you after all this. Its a phase, but, don't let it get you down.

    Answer by Kat122 at 8:34 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I wouldn't be so quick to right it off as a phase unless you know for sure that there is no one in her life that could have physically mistreated with her to make sure. If you can definitely rule that out, then yes, it is probably a phase. The sudden onset just worries me a little.

    Answer by Kimebs at 8:55 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Kids are diffrent. Some are quiet and some are loud. some love and kiss there moms some really dont want to be kissed. she knows she loves you but she just trying to grow up. tell her thats "its ok but just to let you no i still love you."

    Answer by babylogan123 at 10:30 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I agree with all of the above. I tried to look at it from my perspective (as a child) because I have boys. They are different creatures all together. I would really try to sit down and talk w/your daughter just to feel her out and see if there might be something bothering her but also share your feelings with her, as well. I had an instance of abuse when i was 12 and never told anyone but I think I pulled away from my family after that point. Just check it out and ask her to be honest....most likely she just wants her freedom and space. With my oldest son, (almost 15yrs) I have to be very playful about it because he has pulled away as he stretches into manhood. I simply told him that I miss him (as a little boy) and I need to show and receive love, just like he does. He now understands how I feel and is more accepting of my affection. :) Hope this helps.

    Answer by autumngal at 11:10 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • You gotta remember you are becoming the enemy!!! Hopefully it will only last a little while!!!Like previous poster said keep saying "I Love You" as well, put little love notes in her history book or wherever it is that only she will find. I also agree that you need to make sure there hasn't been an "inappropriate incident" but once that is solved I think time will be what you 2 need. Good Luck...Julie

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 11:14 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • my G-daughter and i have had a very close relationship since she was first born every-1 said she was my shadow she was always with me. she is 12 now, and for the last 3 years she has been pulling away from me, becoming a complete indivially. she still comes to my house, after school [ she has to pass my house on her way home ] and on the weekends some times. she always wants to bring at least 1 friend over with her, some times we have girls night, and there are 10 girls here some time. well it kind of hurts when i try to hug r kiss her cheek, & she pulls away, but there are some of her friends [ same age ] that will come over & hug me, kiss me, or ask if i need any thing. my quess is that these girls get no attention at all, & are reaching out to me. ??? i love them all.

    Answer by IlistN at 1:34 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I'm sorry this is happening to you. It had started this summer with my 9yr old daughter and me. It is really heart breaking but I am starting to get used to it. I believe it is the normal way and I am finding new ways to stay close and involved in her life. I always ask my daughter if things in school are ok and if she is happy and I check her behavior. I believe she is very hormonal now too all though young and that is part of the reason. Everything is changing. Just hang in there-let her know you are there for her when she needs you and you all will be ok.

    Answer by vap72928 at 7:10 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Girls enter that desire to separate from moms during adolescence so yes it is perfectly normal. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It only means she's trying to find her way as a female.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:50 PM on Nov. 9, 2008

  • Welcome to preteens and puberty!! Some girls have a desire to seperate from their moms during puberty and that is completely normal. Just be there for her if she wants to talk or has any questions about anything. Good Luck.

    Answer by momto3_1004 at 9:29 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

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