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When to call it quits?

I have been married since may of 09. A little background on my relationship with my husband. Met on Craigslist. Dated for 3 months, moved in, got engaged 3 months later.(moved to fast obviously) had issues come up along the way to marriage. One issue was my husband held on to his ex. her pics up on the wall(took the down) kept all of he perfume(asked if i wanted it) i threw it away. My engagement ring(diamond was hers), I got past that all. next issue was porn. He would look at it, lie about it, hide it, look at it before work, before bed, while im sleeping, sick in bed, at the store. he seen how much it hurt me, promised he wouldnt do it again because he knew i would leave him. caught him doing it 2 weeks before we got married. hi excuse was because i was gone looking at dresses too long. and so we still got married. now then next issue was his dad.( major issue) his dad asked if we could postpone our wedding due to my credit(wtf) said no. he dad has constantly said that i am trying to control and change his son in which i really am not. the day befor the wedding at the dinner his dad didnt say anything to me. wedding day his dad sat all the way n the back and didnt say anything to me again and left about 30min after the reception started. when we were away on honeymoon his dayd told my mom that my husband is going to divorce me if i dont keep the house clean and that we werent going to last. idk y he said these things. after the honeymoon i got pregnant right away. the marriage had its ups and downs along the way. bt we got thru them. but when i was 8months pregnant we hit another bumb. we needed to get a dresser for my son. asked if my hubby can go with but he said no he had to go to sleep because he had to work. well i went and got the dresser loaded it in the truck which i shouldnt have done. drove home and of course catch my hubby looking at porn.(he went and bought it). so upset butforgave him. when i was in the hospital breast feedingalone in the room, his dad opened the door(didnt knock) started pointing at me breast feeding, laughing. i asked my husband to confront him and my husband said for me to get over it. and so i forgot about it. started having issues. asked if he would go to counciling, he said no too expensive. so we fought and fought. he said he can find someone else to love him, also said he wont work on his marriage cuz he can find someone elso so easily. so i said fine im done. and then of course he said lets go to counciling. so we went. and it would work for a few days, fight, counciling, work for a few days and ect. stopped going to counciling due to our schedual. got an email from his brother and wife. it stated a wifes role in a marriage and how to honor your husbands. i asked what hat was about and he said for me to stop being sensitive. i told him to leave for the night i didnt want to argue anymore. i thought maybe he would just go stay in a hotel(like i have caught him before)and he would be back the next day. i didnt here from him for 4 days. i had no money no real way to get ahold of him. i found out he was golfing with his friend and going to a bbq that night. while im sick at home with our son. so i asked his friend to have him call me he said no for me to mind my own business. my mom called his dad(he was staying with him) his dad said that my hubby said he wantednothing to do with me or our son. his sis in law said that my hubby was trying to teach me a lesson. finnaly he called the next day 5 days later and asked to come home and denied saying anything bad. i sad no and made him stay for a few weeks. then he came back home. everything has been pretty good but i notice his dad keeps trying to start things and fights between me and my hubby,.when is enough

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racersmama

Asked by racersmama at 4:04 PM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You should have called it quits before the marriage. Sorry. Not too late. Now's the time. He and his family are toxic. Get out yesterday.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:09 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Sister enough was enough when he left you without for five days when you and your son were sick kick him to the curb and let the trashman do the rest.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:12 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I agree..re-read your post and ask yourself, is this what I want the rest of my life to look like?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • When you start asking questions about when enough is enough, then it's enough!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 4:30 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Call it quits when you are ready. Financially, emotionally, etc....

    Your husband SUCKS. He's addicted to porn. Addicted! He's not a sufficient partner and his father is a weirdo. Love yourself and your child and get out ASAP.
    TLALONDE16

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 4:37 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Get a really good lawyer!
    lilhummingbird2

    Answer by lilhummingbird2 at 4:47 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Get a lawyer and keep it moving!!! You can't force someone to stay with you if they don't want to honey
    EttaMay

    Answer by EttaMay at 5:14 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I'm sorry hun. I think I would try one more time put it all on the table and let him know it changes now or your done. Make sure you cover your butt. Get things ready have an account with money just for you and your son and a safe place for the 2 of you. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Hugs to you I hope things do work out but don't let his dad live your lives for you! Don't let your son to grow up like that. Hugs again hun.
    jillrebecca3

    Answer by jillrebecca3 at 5:46 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I know Im going to get thumbed down for this, but it trulley does sound to me like you are a big part of the problem. Its obvious that everyone sees that you are trying to control him, maybe if you looked honestly at it you would see that they are right. Its up to you if you want to make it work or not, but the only way to do that is to stop trying to control the man. He is not your child, you are mad that he left when you told him to leave. I mean come on, what do you expect. It is important for you to show respect for the man you married, or things are going to end this way. Your getting so upset because of what other people are doing in your marriage, and it obviously hit a nerve that your in laws were talking about respect and roles in the marriage, maybe because you know your not treating him right, and you dont like that he wants more. Sorry, but if you want it to work, you better change, and fast.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • leave him and never look back. too much drama in this marriage and he has no respect for u or his son.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 3:32 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

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