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3 Bumps

I'm pissed! But should I be? adult content

Ok, so long story short is my boyfriend has been really distant lately. So today while he was gone I went snooping through his computer. I wasn't sure what I might find but like anyone who goes snooping they do it because they know they might find something.
Now before you go judging me please understand that he's not been totally honest with me before. But he has also never gone this far in his actions. So anyways I find that he has created an account at a horney singles web site. He put in his description that he just wanted to look. I am not against porn, I have told him this. It bugs me that I am not enough for him. I wish I had the porn queen look, but I don't and I doubt that I ever will.

I have fribromyalgia, along with other diseases that go along with it. But I still wait on him hand and foot. I still care for our kids, and do all the house work with out complaint. Plus I also do all the lawn maintence and vechicle repair all on my own. He wanted to raise rabbits as a hobby, but he never goes and sees them I do daily, all 21 of them!! I have even been without a stove and oven for more than a year, without complaint, even did without a fridge for more than 3 months in the begining.
I want my old boyfriend back the one who felt I was enough. Our sex life is pretty good, or so I thought. I never tell him no, even when I'm NOT in the mood, I still put out. I am in shock that he would even think of creating an account at a website like that.

I know someone is gonna say well you did this to your self, and your right I did. But in my defense I wouldn't of gone snooping had he not been super distant. But now what do I do, I hate fighting with him, but I'm at a loss. Do I ignore what I found and not say a word? Do I confront him? Or do I hold onto what I know and confront him at a later date?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I don't care that you snooped. Why can't we see what our partner's do on the computer. My web browsing isn't private...his isn't either.
    Anyways, you may want to hold it in right now and see if he does anything else with that site. Don't scare him into changing PW's and such.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:18 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Porn is not about you not being enough. He may have an addiction so it's not about you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:18 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Ok this is weird.. I remember reading this SAME exact post on here but it was like months ago... has the issue not been resolved or what?? If not.. then perhaps you should leave
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 5:18 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Actually, this is exactly WHY some people have a problem with porn: it CAN affect the way a man views and treats his partner. I don't blame you for feeling bad. Personally, I think a man getting thrills from another woman's body is infidelity, whether it's on a screen or in person.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:21 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • i think you have a right to be mad! I would be mad but then again im the jealous type. Is it a reason to leave him no, but i do think that you need to have a talk with him. Because what your going through isnt right. You are sick I know people with fribromyalgia and I see how painful it and how hard it is to even get up of the morning. You shouldnt be doing everything on your on .. you need help! If he dont think you need help stop doing it all. Do what you have to for your kids but let him do for hisself. Let him make his self something to eat. Tell him no in bed when you dont feel like it. Let him take care of his rabbits since it was his choice to raise them. It is not right that you go without and still do everything. Mothers do make sacrafices but the fathers should also. I bet he doesnt go without, right! Well then neither should you! You have children and you dont need to raise him too!
    mommy2be0611

    Answer by mommy2be0611 at 5:27 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • A horny singles website? That doesn't sound like porn so much as a social network for people who are looking for casual sex...? Have you really checked into it?
    chocolatluver

    Answer by chocolatluver at 5:29 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Pornography is never about what a partner lacks but about men's selfish desires or needs to soothe something within themselves (whether it's related to sex or porn or not). Even though it isn't about you, it can and will affect his ability to respond to you in physical and emotional ways. Pornography is detrimental no matter how many rounds anyone wants to go over the issue. Any sex therapist will tell you that porn is a problem. It is an unacceptable behavior in your commited relationship. So is a casual sex/dating site. You need to bring it up. You're just going to have to admit to your own "wrong" too.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 5:52 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • he is looking for something more and testing the waters, i would tell him that shit stops now before he crosses the line . if he cant respect u and your marriage whats the point.
    NaiveDream

    Answer by NaiveDream at 6:24 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • This has bad news written all over it..I'm so sorry.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 6:32 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • The problem is that he is LYING to you. I would definitely confront. Why keep it in and be miserable? Communication is key in a relationship.
    isabellem

    Answer by isabellem at 9:34 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

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