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my boyfriends ex-girlfriend mom is trying to get custody of her grand son. which is my boyfriends son .can she do that

my stepson mom dropped him in his dads lap 5 months ago. we haven't seen or heard from her since then. she had custody of him. Now her mom wants him. she saying that my boyfriend is not his dad .when we have proof he is. so does the courts. PLEASE HELP

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Asked by karen61938 at 9:57 AM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • She can try to get custody if she want to fork out the money to do it.. Lawyer fees, court fees... Doesn't mean she will get custody though.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:02 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • yeah she can try.... doesn't mean it will she is "serious" about going to court be prepared!!!

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 10:23 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Is your boyfriend on the birthcert? Has he been actively involved with the baby? The grandparent can't do anything immediately besides get a lawyer. If any custody has been established then she has to prove that your boyfriend is unfit. If there is not established custody she still has to get the parents consent to give her guardianship or custody. It is not that easy just because she wants the child. It is in your best interest to try and work out an agreement with her about visitation so that she can get to see the child and you may be able to work some thing out where you end up helping each other care for the baby.  more...


    Answer by NenaB at 11:00 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • But you do need ot make it legal. whatever the situation. There is help with a group for fathers to help them with the legal stuff and there is a web site available about custody issues that will give him all the info you need about custody and guardianship and what not (google your question but make sure to put what state you are in) I hope this helps.

    Answer by NenaB at 11:00 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • If the mother just dumped the child in your boyfriend's lap, your boyfriend may not have legal custody. He needs to take steps to make sure the courts know he is now the primary guardian of the child.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:48 AM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • if he has taken care of the child for months when mom dumped the child andjust now she wants inivolvement she could get ever other weekend or something which is great for babysitting.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 12:46 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Whatever you do, don't allow her any kind of court ordered visits or shared custody. We did that with my SS and now the GPs are trying to control everything. SO, go to court and fight for her not to get anything. If your BF is the biofather and the mother doesn't care for the kid then you should go after sole custody.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:05 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Well, a court is going to feel that a child needs all the family possible so denying the grandparents any visitation is probably a bad idea. It makes you look bad.

    The only way the grandparent could get custody is if she can prove that both the mother and father are unfit to have custody of the child. The court would never give a child to a grandparent if one parent is fit to be the child's custodial parent.

    Answer by casperskitty at 3:48 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Another good point was brought up. No you do nto want to put the grandparents on the custody paperwork but you DO want to cooperate with them to allow them to see the baby. You may end up like I said before having a good relationship with them if they see the baby is being taken care of and that you will allow them access they wont be so afraid they are going to lose contact and back off a bit.


    Answer by NenaB at 8:12 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Many states now recognize Grandparent rights. If she was an important part of the childs life before her daughter flaked out then she will have more merit for visits. A paternity test will need to be done if he is not on the birth certificate, and at the most she will be granted visitation.

    Answer by DawnPratt23 at 6:45 PM on Jan. 1, 2009

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