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Now that I am a single parent I realize that my kids think I'm a push over:(

I have 2 daughters 9 & 16 they are lovely girls. However these girls no matter how much I talk to them I feel that they don't take me seriously. My older listens to me most of the time but she tends to do what she wants since she knows I can get preoccupied with things. My little one has a really bad attitude with everyone in the house. Ever since her dad moved out I think this is her way of acting out. But my biggest concern is that i feel that I need to set up structure in the household and no matter how I try it is difficult. My mother lives with me and she is really sick with Cancer that makes her very weak. So my typical morning is very challenging I leave before the girls go to school. So my mother get them up and makes breakfast for them. My daughter is very difficult to get up it takes her over 1/2 to get up. She will whine, kick, say mean things and make it very hard for my mom and older daughter. I have tried sending her to bed early, waking her before i leave but I'm at a loss. I think I need to find a way to be more consistent and enforce my own rules but I acknowledge I am a push over. Can anyone please tell me how can I get things to go smoothly at home. It is so nice please:(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • I don't have any concrete suggestions except for being consisten with consequences. If your daughter won't get up for school, then start taking things away from her, tv or computer time, cell phone, time with her friends, etc. You also might want to consider getting some family counseling.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 7:10 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • You need to set the rules and what happens when they are broken, And stick to your guns. It won't work unless you stick by it no matter what. it will take some time but it will work, And be worth it in the long run.. Good luck!!

    Answer by Alta2008 at 7:13 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • You are beyond having your hands full! And these 2 girls are old enough to help you out & relieve some of your stress. First, it sounds as if the 9 y/o needs some counseling to deal w/ her feelings about the divorce. (actually, it couldnt hurt to get it for both of them) Hospice has it for free- and they may need it to deal w/ your mother's illness as well. Then get the 9 y/o and alarm clock. It's either that or get a squirt bottle w/ cold water! Make a list of chores & expectations & stick to it. You are both parents now, so you have to be twice as strong! Dont let them walk all over you or it'll only get worse. Last but not least, get some rest for you! Take time to get away from all your stresses. Meet a gf for lunch or something. Good luck & please take care :) *Hugs

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:14 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Well you need to put ur foot down an mean what you say

    Answer by inlovewith4 at 7:15 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Is the father still involved or is he totally gone? If hes still involved can you have him talk to the girls?

    Answer by preciouschild at 2:19 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Sit the girls down and have a serious talk with them about what is happening. Tell them you have to have their help and cooperation. Ask what they think they can do...then stop talking and listen. Then let them be a part of helping care for grandma. Tell the little one that if she's whiny in the morning, then you will take away her tv priviledges (or computer-something else she likes) that night, because it's obvious that that is deeping her from sleeping well. Get her up earlier. Be consistent. Maybe make a chart. Good luck

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:16 AM on Dec. 18, 2010

  • God bless you friend. You do have your hands full. Teenagers are never easy, add divorce and a Grandmother that is ill - they have a lot on their plates as well. I am a huge advocate of counseling to let them process their feelings and emotions. You all are probably going through things you have no idea how to handle.

    I do not know how to do what I suggest, but if you can find a way to bring you & the girls closer together in this time of pain & hurt than apart.

    Answer by tway75 at 9:29 AM on Dec. 27, 2010

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