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3 Bumps

Is it legal for a step dad to fly my grand daughter out of state without my ex-wife?

We live in Virginia. This question is not addressed in our custody agreement. My son does not want his daughter flying out of state without a legal guardian with her.

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Asked by Grammy811 at 7:45 PM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think you need to get some written agreement or something. He needs to have her birth certification as well. Make sure this is okay with the ex wife so it doesnt bite you in the ass

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:47 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I believe it is. If mom has custody and placement during the time of travel and the step dad has her consent I think it's ok. I know stuff like that can be frustrating and it sucks when there's nothing you can do about it.


    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:48 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Sounds legal to me. It is her step dad. If it's ok with the mom, I don't see how the dad can stop it.

    Answer by Snewo at 7:51 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I also live in Virginia. I am pretty sure it is considered kidnapping if the child leaves state lines without the other parents permission. It doesn't matter who it is with. The mother could even get arrested if she brought the child without the father's permission.

    Answer by ashisamom at 7:57 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Just check their custody agreement to make sure that they don't need written permission to leave the state. Most custody agreements require permission from the other parent to take a child out of state period.

    Answer by ohwrite at 7:57 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I would check with an attorney. Since the child is visiting the mother (ex wife), I believe with her consent that the step dad can travel with the child. It's not considered kidnapping for a parent to leave the state with the child for a visit but not sure about a step parent since they have no legal rights where the child is concerned. Now, if they moved out of state, it could be kidnapping if the state has laws against the move without court consent.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:11 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • As long as the costodial parent approves it is ok. For example, I have custody of my dd, if my fiance' took her out of state, there is nothing my ex could do about it BUT if my ex was married or engaged, his wife or fiance couldn't take her out of state without my permission. In fact, he can't even take her out of state without my permission.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:28 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Why doesn't he want her to leave the state with out a legal guardian? Is the mother going to join them latter? Sometimes I think we make a big deal out of nothing. This child is leaving the state and I presume mom will be joining them shortly. If so, your son would look like a jealous controlling ass going to court complaining about this issue. If the mother of this child does not plan on joining them for the duration of the trip - then I think it would be considerate to the other parent to offer for the child to be with your son. The only way to really resolve this is to go back to family court. He would have to hire a lawyer and bring the matter before court. Even if it is written in the custody agreement, if the mother violated the agreement, then the only avenue he has is to go to family court. Judges do not look kindly on unnecessary drama.  So he should think very carefully.  Is it because this man


    Answer by frogdawg at 8:36 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • is a danger to his child? How does he know? What did he see (not what he heard)? And why not report that danger to authorities? If this man is not a danger to his child, he may want to consider not having this resistant reaction. One day his wife may want to travel with their children and her step daughter. What goes around comes around. No need to start issues unless it is a true danger to the child.  My son was with his grandparents out of state and has been with good friends of ours out of state as well.  We gave them an insurance card in case of emergencies.  We also had our contact information and a document to say that they could make emergency decisions should the need arise.  If this is a huge thing - he can take them to family court again and take his chances with a judge.


    Answer by frogdawg at 8:41 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Your best answer is to check with the attorney that was originally involved and get it in writting - the end! I mean seriously - it avoids all legalities down the line!

    Answer by gambilldl at 11:33 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

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