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Converting religion to get married. What are your thoughts?

My recently engaged daughter is being asked by her boyfriend to convert from Christian to Catholic so they can get married in his church.His family has informed her that they will not recognize their marriage if she does not comply.

 
witchypoo1228

Asked by witchypoo1228 at 9:21 PM on Dec. 16, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 7 (204 Credits)
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Answers (20)
  • First off--Catholics are Christian.
    Second--If it is something she wants-fine, but she shouldn't feel forced to do so.

    A friend of mine converted from Christian to being Jewish. She did it of her own free will because she fell in love with a Jewish man and it was what she wanted to do. But no one should feel forced to do anything.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:23 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Catholics are considered Christians. Do you mean she's being asked to make her communion, confirmation, and baptism? That's up to her. If his family is going to try to control any aspect of her life then maybe it's better that they don't recognize the marriage. Of course, then they're denying knowing any kids they might have together but that's their loss not hers.
    bseastrand

    Answer by bseastrand at 9:26 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Christian is, as Catholic does.... same thing. Few different beliefs... but its not like she is converting to satanism. Its pretty much one in the same.

    bjojola

    Answer by bjojola at 9:26 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • And, so if they don't recognize the marriage, then what? The ceiling falls in? The seas dry up? Or some petty-minded control freaks have it proven to them once again that they can't make other people's choices for them --OR bring love closer by being demanding, petty or intolerant?

    So, say she goes along with it... chants all the words, goes to all the classes, agrees with it all, until she's confirmed, married and then says 'ha ha, psych!' Then what? She's 'really' married in their eyes? Or it was a sham, so even though she APPEARED to convert just as much as everyone else APPEARS to believe? So, she never tells them she was only joking --would that count?

    My sister was told the same thing (she married a catholic)... and refused to convert AND was married in the cathedral, right out in the sanctuary. Never even been baptized...

    Very often, when the women they want put their foot down, men go along with it without complaint
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 9:27 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • My brother did it to marry his wife (now deceased). It caused lots of problems for them. She felt she had the upper hand from that point on. I would counsel your daughter. If this is a surprise to her then they haven't had all the conversations that need to happen before a wedding gets planned. Like about religion, and children. SAHM or WOHM? Finances? ....etc. I have several friends who have converted but it was a decision they had talkjed about a long time before they began planning a wedding. You're in a tough position..because you need to advise her..w/o making her feel stuck in the middle. Good Luck.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:27 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I think he needs to follow his heart in wether he wants to listen to his family or be with your daughter. Not wether she converts or not.
    tryin2BGOOD

    Answer by tryin2BGOOD at 9:37 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • i think it should be between your DD and her fiance...not your DD, fiance, and his parents. does he want her to convert for reasons other than his parents? is he super devout? honestly, i think converting just for a loved one (and not b/c you agree with the beliefs) is a dangerous road to go down...could lead to a lot of problems.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 9:59 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • RUN AWAY!!
    MamaK88

    Answer by MamaK88 at 1:04 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Thank you all. I agree. Poor thing has only been engaged 6 days and hasnt slept a wink. I raised her to be truthful to herself and will be there to support her decision.
    witchypoo1228

    Comment by witchypoo1228 (original poster) at 9:37 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • I agree tryin2BGOOD. He's 30 and his mom is very overpowering. my gut is they will do what is best for themselves, but may have to fight hard to get ther.
    witchypoo1228

    Comment by witchypoo1228 (original poster) at 9:41 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

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