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Step grandparents and not married "couples"?

How did you deal with step grandparents? Both of my step parents and I don't get along. IDK what to have my dd call them. For example, Grandpa or by their first name.

Also, how do you deal with unmarried couples? FIL has been dating the same woman for 12 years but their not married I feel awkward b/c she wants dd to call her grandma and in my eyes she's not. I don't want her to think that marriage is the same as dating. DH doesn't care either way.


Asked by bseastrand at 10:07 PM on Dec. 16, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (6,806 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • With step grandparents I think it depends. My kids call one Grandma Gail although we didn't start talking to my FIL and his wife until my children were older, So they are Grandpa and Val.

    My grandfather has had a girlfriend since I was little, my grandmother passed away when I was 4. He never married this woman and t this day we call her by her first name. She comes to everything and they are together all the time and we still call her by her first name.

    I think you should do what makes you comfortable. It is your DD that has to be taught these things by you and if you don't feel she should call someone grandma then I would let them know how you feel and why you are asking her to call them something different.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:36 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • your daughter doesn't have to know they aren't married unless you make a big deal about it. IMO you shouldn't talk about family members in front of the kids cause you never know what they will repeat.

    Answer by usdragonflies at 10:09 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • My moms dad is her step dad, her step dad and mom divorced and he has been remarried for 20 years. We call them grandpa (fill in name) and grandma (fill in name)

    Even though neither one of them are blood related, sometimes blood does not matter, unless you make it matter. Neither do legal papers, cause legally they aren't our grandparent's either.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:12 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • My grandma died when I was 12. My grandpa, not being able to handle living alone, married 6 months after my grandma's death. We were devastated about it and did not get along for a LOOONG time. She will NEVER be grandma or great grandma to my child. It is nothing against her but my grandma was MY grandma. Rachel knows this and has accepted it.

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 10:10 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • hmm tough situation only call em grandma or grandpa if they are close? my bfs nephews and neices call me tia but we are not married but have been together 10 yrs which is most of their life.

    Answer by VERONICAS_MOM at 10:11 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Both of my parents are re-married. My children do not call my parent's spouses grandma or grandpa. They AREN'T. My DD knows Holly is Grandpa's wife, and Greg is Grandma's husband. That's just who they are. :)

    Answer by KairisMama at 10:15 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • my kids call my DF's dad Pops

    Answer by sweet29mom at 10:17 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • Why can't a child just have a bunch of grandparents? A child can never be loved by to many people. If they are good to your daughter than why can't they be called Gpa and Gmaw? I guess I don't see why they can't all be Gparents cause I didn't have Gparents growing up, and I wih more than anything that I had. I think this is something peope take for granted.

    Answer by usdragonflies at 10:19 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • and if this woman has been making your FIL happy for 12 years shouldn't you be happy for them? Maybe there is something they have against marrying cause they both had crappy ones that didn't work out the first time around. Some people just have a fear of marriage after a failed one.

    Answer by usdragonflies at 10:21 PM on Dec. 16, 2010

  • My kids call my dad and stepmom "grandma and Grandpa". I call them Dad and Jane.
    My biological mother is out of he picture, my husband's biological mother is out of the picture, and my kids don't know my husband's father and stepmother.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 10:58 PM on Dec. 16, 2010