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My 3 year old daughter really has a problem with me working. What have others moms done to ease the anger and agitiation for thier kids??

I have worked since she 3 months old, I get no help from her dad. I work 3 twelve hour shifts a week, that gives 4 days a week off. I make sure we spend time together and do fun stuff, even if its just playing in the water in the back yard. Still when she knows I have to go back she starts acting out. She will spit at me and pull my hair, she refuses to go to bed. I hate having to send her time out or to room when I know she won't see me much for the next three days, but I do send her to time out, I don't let it slide. I have tried to talk to her to make her understand that I have to work, I would much rather be with her but that now days most mom's have to work. My mom has suggested that I a find a 9-5 job but then I would have only two days off and I think that it would be even harder on her. Any ideas.

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Asked by rae73 at 1:19 PM on Jul. 6, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • I think all kids go through that stage....They have mommy and then she's gone...comes home tired, has to cook, clean, etc....then they are getting less attention than they get when you're home....she will grow out of it...promise...both of mine did it....they are now 10 and 5 and still ask if I HAVE to go to work...when I'm working....I'm fortunate enough not to have to work this summer...but come August I will be hitting the 9 to 5...and here it's more like 6:30 to 6:30 counting traffic....uuuggghhh

    Answer by love_my_boys at 5:00 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I think honestly it would be tough at first but at least with a 9-5 job you'd have a normal set schedule one she could get used to and adjusted to. It might possibly be that you're leaving her at random times... most people say that having a child on a schedule or something they can become familiar with is the best way to go

    Answer by bubblycute at 8:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I think that you are doing the right thing all around. You have to work, there's no changing that. I would rather have 4 days off to play than 2. Kids go through phases, this is one of hers. She would probably be even more upset if you worked M-F, then she would have less quality time with you. And yes, she should be punished with time out for spitting at you and hitting you. When she's done with time out, you can tell her that you know how sad she is, but you HAVE to work and you two can play on your days off. Try not to feel too bad about it, you are doing the best that you can with your circumstances. Soon enough she'll be at school for the better part of the day and it won't be as big a deal as it is right now. I would definitely rather have 4 days to be with her than 2!

    Answer by slw123 at 2:04 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

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