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any ideas on how to start new traditions for christmas? My husband died a yr ago and we have an 8 yr old?

we always had so much fun on christmas morning and now since my husband died I need to start something different for my son and not sure what? Last yr we left to not deal with it but he wants to stay home this yr so i want to make memories again and not be sad???

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ssc02

Asked by ssc02 at 6:25 AM on Dec. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • We do Christmas cutout cookies on Christmas eve. Christmas morning is always cinnamon rolls and tons of candy from the stockings (eat one roll then you can eat the candy lol) Lots of movies while waiting on dinner and to unwind afterwords.
    fallnangel3

    Answer by fallnangel3 at 6:31 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I also have an 8 year old who adores his dad. I can only begin to imagine what you and your son have been going through.

    Have you put up your tree and decorated? When I think about my son, I think he would want to do some of the same things we've always done and remember his father. Has your son had a chance to get you any presents? I think that would help for the two of you to exchange gifts. A few years ago, we went out for Chinese food for Christmas dinner (a la "A Christmas Story"). Maybe you can do something like that - sort of non-Christmas-y on Christmas that will be a new tradition for the two of you.
    I hope you can find some Christmas magic. I'm sure you'll both have your moments of sadness missing your husband, but I'm sure you can find the joy as well.
    I
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 6:34 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I'd try to keep up the old ones as best i could. I wouldn't try to remove all the old memories, just add some new ones. Ask him what he'd like to add.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:36 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • My heart goes out to you and so to your son. My 27 year old daughter died in January. Her 4 year old daughter lives with us now. It really is the children that have lost so very much. Children should not have to grow up without their parent. Aunt, Uncle and Cousins are coming. There will be a lot of activity. Maybe we will get a good movie to let us sit and hold each other while we watch. ((((Hugs)))))
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:58 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • The ideas of Chinese food and movies are great. We did Chinese food on Christmas Eve. I agree that you might want to ask your son for his ideas too. And you can change what you do each year until you zero on what is best for the two of you. I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you have each other. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:39 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • My heart goes out to you and your son as this must be a difficult time for you both. Remember, your DH/your son's father is still with you both deep inside each of you.
    I would keep the old traditions alive as I think that would be what your DH would want, right? I would add some new ones too -
    * I like the Chinese (or whatever you both like) dinner idea.
    * Make dad's favorite dinner together, cuddle on the couch and watch Christmas movies together while eating popcorn.
    * Buy/make a special tree ornament every year "inviting DH/Dad along for the holidays".
    * Have some time where you share special/funny memories of him.
    * Buy matching pj's and wrap them up to open on Christmas Eve.
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 10:03 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I'm sorry for your loss. I would not change the tradition but keep it in memory of your husband. I would start adding different things little by little though. I am divorced from my husband now and the kids are grown and have children of their own and they still want to stick to the old tradition that they had growing up. So now my grandchildren open up one gift at midnight.
    kim0167

    Answer by kim0167 at 12:36 AM on Dec. 19, 2010

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