my boyfriend has always been the peacemaker. He's the type who'll say just ignore a problem and it will go away. I never liked his approach to things but I've always been the type to let people make their own decisions., including the one with letting his mom move in with him. At the time I didnt know the entire situation but in the end it turned out his parents were getting a divorce his father knew he wanted a house so he told my bf he'd give him the down payment to help him get a house. Unfortunately his mom and his youngest brother came with the price of the house and shortly after him buying it moved in with him. His brother was a known troublemaker and began to show it once he was settled in at the house, he began smoking and selling drugs and bringing people to the house at all hours of the night. And his mother was another case, she put up a fuss for the master bedroom and moved all her antiques and furniture into the house forcing him and all his things into a small room in the corner of the house. She began dictating to him when he could have company, not to change the temperature, when the house wasnt clean enough, and questioned him about where he was going. (he's 25) Before long I noticed him slowly moving his things into my apartment. He was forking out $1100 a month for his mortgage but had keys and closet space in 2 bedroom apartment. I love my bf and love his spirit to always want everyone around him to be happy but he himself has become very depressed. I've been his shoulder and always guided him through his problems but I feel like he's using me as a scapegoat to not have to deal with them. Ignoring siuations like this will not make it better. Is there anything I can do to help him I feel bad for him he seems like hes at wits end with this situation.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 9:14 AM on Dec. 17, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by ceallaigh at 9:23 AM on Dec. 17, 2010
Answer by christy_lvr at 9:58 AM on Dec. 17, 2010
My dh's mother used to treat him like a child all the time. It took years of me talking to him about it for him to stand up for himself. I just asked every now and then .. why does she do that to you? does that bother you? I'd try to pull his feelings out of him not inject my feelings into him.
Answer by bseastrand at 10:00 AM on Dec. 17, 2010
Answer by Cheveyo1 at 10:13 AM on Dec. 17, 2010
Answer by Cheveyo1 at 10:15 AM on Dec. 17, 2010
WoW - what happens to the rest of the expenses? Is your b/f responsible for all of them and the mortgage? As far as his brother goes, your b/f has some options that are VERY pliable - have him evicted or arrested (yes this seems harsh, but remind your b/f it is not as harsh as it will be when he gets busted) as the home owner he is going to be charged as well ! This is a major mistake for your b/f. I think once he takes care of the brother, his mother can then be dealt with, as well! Good Luck!
Answer by gambilldl at 10:30 AM on Dec. 17, 2010
Answer by spottedpony at 1:34 AM on Dec. 18, 2010