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My daughter wants to get married..

She's 16....As in she seriously presented this argument to me today as she needs my permission. I really have no clue what to say to her (my first reaction was to laugh and i had to subdue it). Apparently his parents have given him permission. Your views/Advice?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Nov. 8, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (23)
  • i am 16 and i have a 7 month old.. what she really need is to know the risks of getting married right now but there aint much you can do to make her realize that. it took me to have a baby to realize it. maybe she needs to talk to someone who has gotten married at her age.
    ProuMom552

    Answer by ProuMom552 at 1:04 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • no no no no! If she loves him tell her then 18 it is! 16 is wayyyyy to young to be getting married! I met my hubby at 16 years old but trust me we were not at all close to getting married! We loved eachother enough to stay together, we didnt need to be married. they shouldnt either. My hubby and i even had to take a break later on after 3 years of dating to figure it out to decide if we really were soul mates so to speak. We were! We got married when I wa 21 and he was 22. Perfect! the are so imature at this age and they think this it with the first partner they have sex with or they had thier first kiss with, and so on! Be stern and dont condone it. If they are truly in love then they will be together and have a wonderful relationship without jumping into a marriage. they are soo young. Be strong Mommy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • Yeah, she really needs to talk to somebody that is young and married. She doesn't understand the hardships of marriage or that it's "supposed" to be forever. She probably thinks it's just "cool" and she wants to do it just so she can feel more grown up.

    Tyra Banks did a show on teens that wanted to get married. You might be able to find some clips on her website or on google, it's eye-opening.
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 1:07 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • i would just say, if it's meant to be, then wait two years. what is the rush? if she has gotten pregnant, the situation may be different. I'd love to hear her "argument"
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 1:22 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • How old is the boy? I would love to hear her reasoning also. And his parents.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • My sister harrassed & begged my mom to sign for her to get married at 16. she really didn't want to but finally just went ahead & did it so my sister would shut up about it. By 18 she was divorced and getting married to somebody else. Maybe early marriage work sometimse or the used to work out years ago but now really not so much. she need to grow and learn more about life first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • My parents signed the papers for me to get married when I was 17. I actually never dated the guy either. He was my best friend. We did get married, and almost 10 years later we are still very happily married.

    HOWEVER.....I do wish that my parents would have fought a little more. It did work out in the end. But at 17 I had NO idea what I was doing. We filed for divorce two weeks after our first anniversary. It was not the fairy tale we had planned. It was so much harder. A couple weeks before the divorce was finalized our families convinced us to give it a chance. They said we owed it to our daughter to fight for our marriage, not just walk away. It was hard. We fought often and we struggled not only to get our marriage back on track but also to raise a child when we were still children ourselves. We ended up not divorcing. And like I said, we are very happy now. But it was so incredibly difficult at that age.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • My hubby and I got married when I was 20. we wanted to get married earlier than that. We were engaged in high school. But we waited. Really, 16 is SOO young. Give her the statistics. The rate of any marriage lasting is only 50%, but teenage marriages are even smaller. Where are they going to live? Do they have jobs? can they afford their own bills/apartment? Will they spend their money in a responsible way?
    If they cannot do these things successfully on their own, then they should wait.

    mrseum

    Answer by mrseum at 2:48 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • I agree unless they are planning on 100% being able to support themselves then I would say its a big "no". What is their plan? Is she going to stay in HS & finish & go to college or are they planning on cranking you out a grand child right away? That's what I would be concerned about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

  • If they are really in love then their love isnt going to vanish while she finishes school & decides what she wants to do in life (career, college travel, etc). Kids at this age just dont tend to be able to look ahead at the broader view of life when they get one idea stuck in their minds. She is going to be such a different person emotionally at 20 then she is at 16. She just doesnt understand that yet. I would surely sit down with both of them & have them draw out for you their long term goals. Not just "We want to get married right NOW because we're in "love"!"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Nov. 8, 2008

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