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I know my kid isn't stupid, so why does he do this?

My son will be 6 in less than 2 weeks. His smarts (and smart ass) usually extend the norm of kids his age. So what I don't understand is why, after years of beaing able to do it on his own, I ask him to get dressed after breakfast, and he will go in his room, but 10 minutes later, instead of him getting dressed, he is rolling around on the floor naked or playing with his toys. If I ask him to go brush his teeth, he makes it into the bathroom, but instead I find him playing with my hair bands....

But, if I ask him to go get me all of his trains in alphabetical order and line them up for me in rainbow color, he will do it so fast without blinking an eye....

He complains about having to do pretty much anything he HAS to do... even eating his lunch. He only ever wants to do what HE WANTS to do. I am SOSOSOSOS sick of fighting with him, and with him goofing off, especially if we are on a time crunch or something.

I DO NOT give in and do stuff for him. Ever since he was a baby I gave him the chance to figure out how to do things. We have always had a routine, however imperfect it sometimes gets because of the other child in the house, we stick to he basics of it.... Lately I have, for my sake, gotten his clothes out and layed them on the floor for him to get dressed quicker (this is not working) and also gotten his tooth brush ready (also not helping).

I'm at a loss, but I am so tired of fighting with him. How do I get him to do things??!! I have tried to just leave him to his own devises, but he won have anything done by the time we have to leave for school.. and I cant let him be late, ya know? He is also having this issue at school, where they do the same activity almost every day, but when his teacher comes around to see what he has done, he hasn;t even started .. he says he deosnt knwo how to do it...

Please help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Dec. 17, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (17)
  • It isn't impossible that he has some glandular problem, thyroid for example. I don't think it is likely though. Talk with his doctor.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:56 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • he's little and easily distracted. plus, he may be testing the waters to see what all he can get away with. Just enforce the task calmly but firmly and stand by to make sure he does it.

    Answer by devtdbosombuddy at 10:57 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Have you let him suffer the consequences of his inaction? (in certain circumstances that isn't practical, I know). Is it an inability to focus, or to organize tasks? That sounds like how my 10 year old used to be - he's borderline aspergers. It helped to break down his tasks and make it visual (ie getting dressed - make pictures and a list of what order he needs to do things in. Start with a picture of underwear, then pants, then shirt, etc) He doesn't need this help anymore, but when he was younger it was a lifesaver. We had strips of pictures all over our house! (but then we had them anyway due to my 13 yo having autism)
    From reading it, I wasn't sure whether he is incapable (even though he's smart! My son is in AG, so it's not always an intelligence thing), or just doesn't do it, in which case consequences would be in order (losing privileges)

    Answer by missanc at 10:59 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • hes testing his limits to see how far he can take things.

    Answer by bseastrand at 11:00 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • i was the same as a kkid and my parents took me too all these docs who told them i was adhd or add and they had me on alot of medication that messed me up.. so i say no doc they are mean

    Answer by Meghan6391 at 11:01 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • My son, 11 now, used to do the same thing. Drove me nuts. I tried explaining to him that I was going to have to wake him up earlier if he was going to take so long to get ready. That didn't work, I would find him asleep on the floor half dressed. LOL. Thankfully, he grew out of it. Best of luck.

    Answer by christy_lvr at 11:02 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • omg.. my son is 6 and is the same way! I think it;s just bc he is a BOY! lol I don know but i get at wits end to!

    Answer by randilinn at 11:06 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • So many possible things can be here. It could be normal (nothing medical) and he is either testing or just truly getting distracted. Or it could be him getting distracted so easily is a sign of something else. ADHD? Who knows. Anxiety about wanting to go to school so procrastinating? Maybe. Trying to get your attention (and he has it)? Maybe to that too. I would attempt to make some adjustments in how things are done temporarily. I would also make a well child check up to discuss with a doctor. This needs to be put into perspective. No matter what is going on....not the end of the world.  Frustrating as all get out.  But not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  Truly you will find the answer in time.  Or often it resolves itself given a little bit of time.  Hang in there.  My four year old is easily distracted....we have to practice great patience in our house each morning.


    Answer by frogdawg at 11:26 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • Why must people assume that an almost 6 year old needs a doctor and meds for being distracted? In the perfect world, our kids would do exactly what we asked, when we asked. In reality, most kids have no concept of time or have a full understanding of the importance of promptness. The fact is that rolling around naked on the floor is more fun than getting dressed. His toys are more fun than brushing his teeth. He's not trying to push your buttons, and I seriously doubt he needs meds to make him complacient. He is a normal kid, doing kid things! Relax and remember this later in life when he brings a girlfriend home and she is waiting for him to be ready to can tell her what he used to do in the mornings instead of getting dressed! He will just die that you remember! Ask him to do these things, give him a chance to do it, then step in and help him get started. He will eventually get over it!

    Answer by khedy at 11:39 AM on Dec. 17, 2010

  • I donĀ“t think there is anything wrong with him. I think he is just being a child, testing his limits and easily distracted. Idk, maybe find a way to discipline him.? GL.

    Answer by Luisa621 at 12:44 PM on Dec. 17, 2010

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